


transience of being

by shairiru



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: 49 Days AU, M/M, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shairiru/pseuds/shairiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi is tired of life but death doesn't quite want him yet.<br/>Kuroko is alive but not quite living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 49 Days AU. Like that Korean drama. I loved that drama, made me cry so much.

 

It seems easy enough. Akashi has heard of this method before. Less painful. Faster. Five white pills on his palm stare back at him. People believed that Akashi Seijuurou is always strong, but these pills know the truth. The truth that he is weak. He has always been. 

 

He is tired. Tired of keeping up the image that he is strong. Tired of making himself believe he is in complete control of his life when the reality is that his father still looms over him, keeping hold of his freedom. Being an adult did not free him any more than he was. 

 

What’s the sense in continuing a life that is not his?

 

With one gulp, he takes the pills. He stares back into his blurry image on the mirror. A cold feeling settles down on him, and he falls to the floor. He’s free now, isn’t he?

 

 

 

* * *

49 days left

* * *

 

 

There was a story his mother told him one night when she was still alive and it was one hour past Akashi’s bedtime. It was about a boy whose parents died when he was still young and had to live in an uncle’s house. The family wasn’t kind to him and made him into their personal servant. He had to do every chores in the house not until his body is too tired.

 

Once, his cousin stole a very important jewelry from a store. The sheriffs looked for the thief and was lead to their house. His cousin threatened him that if he did not take responsibility for the theft, worse things will happen to him. Out of fear, he answered to the accusation. He was beaten in public, and still, he did not get even a single drop of appreciation from his stepfamily. That incident was just least of all the abuse he got from them, and so in the night of his eighteenth birthday, when he was supposed to be free to live on his own, he took his own life.

 

“Why would he want to kill himself?” he asked, his eyes starting to close on their own. “He was almost free.”

 

“Because he thought that if he lived on, nothing will change. He’s tired of it. He wanted to do something of his own even once,” she said, her soft voice completely lulling him to sleep. He supposed she must have said more, but he never heard because by then, he was already dreaming.

 

= = =

 

Akashi finds himself in the middle of a buzzing hallway. He sees doctors and nurses running around. He looks around and sees his father entering, a panicked look on his face. Two of his bodyguards follow closely. Akashi runs to him just as his father talks with a nurse.

 

“Excuse me, where is Akashi Seijuurou? I’m his father.”

 

“He’s in the emergency room, sir,” the nurse answers with a practiced calm.

 

“I am here,” Akashi says, but neither takes notice of him. “Father, I’m right here.”

 

“Is he alive?”

 

“The doctors are trying their best, sir. It was a good thing your house helper found him sooner. He was brought in immediately. There is a big hope for his survival. If you can wait for a while, I’m sure there will be good news soon.”

 

Akashi tries to reach for his father’s arm, but his hand passes through cleanly. He pulls it back, unable to come up with a next thing to do. He watches as his father walks away and sits on a nearby bench. 

 

_What is happening?_

 

“Akashicchi, you seem a little lost.”

 

The voice is oddly familiar. And is oddly out of place, because that voice should have stopped existing almost a year ago.

 

“Kise?” he turns around and sees his former teammate. As he remembered him, Kise is wearing his signature smile.

 

“Have you figured it out already?”

 

“You’re dead,” he says matter-of-factly.

 

“I wouldn’t be here if I’m not.”

 

“Am I dead, too?” That’s right. He remembers taking the pills and falling on the floor. He killed himself.

 

“No. Fortunately for you, it’s still not your time. The death gods don’t like it when humans try to get ahead of them so they send people like me to clean up the mess.”

 

“Like you?” It isn’t always that he doesn’t understand things. And when he doesn’t, it throws him off.

 

“They call us angels of death, those that died in the right time but left something undone. We bring the dead to where they must go, and the living back to this world. 

 

Akashicchi, you’re not supposed to be dead. You need to live. But, of course, it doesn’t come for free. You have to do something,” he snaps his fingers, and a necklace suddenly appears around Akashi’s neck. He touches the smooth glass pendant shaped like a teardrop. “Simple enough, collect three tears that are meant for you. Tears that contain love, that is. Complete that task before forty-nine days end, and you will live. Meanwhile I, would be able to depart from this world to where I am supposed to go.”

 

Kise smiles brightly at him. Akashi has seen that smile so many times before, thrown to people Kise asks for favor. It is a smile that seals the deal. But never with Akashi.

 

“I killed myself, Kise. Why would you think I’d want to live for the second time?”

 

“Because there’s so much more to live for!” his face is wide with shock, “When I died, I lost all my memory from my life. It was terrible, being alone, empty inside and out. I feel like I had so much more to do, so much more. But I don’t have that luxury anymore. 

 

“You’re given a second chance, Akashicchi. When you took the pills that almost killed you, they gave me you to be saved and I remembered everything we shared, the time we were both alive. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. Please don’t just let it go. You’re stronger than this.”

 

That phrase again.

 

“I have always been weak, Kise,” he turns to look at the doors to the emergency room where he’s trying to be revived. He wishes they wouldn’t. “And I’ve already given up.”

 

 

* * *

48 days left 

* * *

 

 

Akashi stayed in the hospital room that his body is confined in. The doctors were successful to expel the pills out of his system, but his brain was affected thus he is declared comatose.

 

“Patients in comatose have certain parts of their brain functions disabled, but it doesn’t mean they are already brain dead. Some functions still work: hearing, feeling. He will hear what you will say, and words of encouragement would help in his speedy recovery,” he heard the doctor tell his father. 

 

But the only words his father said before he left were: “You’ve disappointed me.”

 

He touches the cool glass pendant to his lips. His body looks so frail on the bedwith several tubes connected to his body. He looks like the young boy that he was seven years ago, when victory was still everything to him. Why would he want to live like that again?

 

“Akashicchi.” Kise appears and disappears whenever he likes, but mostly he’s in the room, trying to persuade him to look for the three tears that would bring him back to life. “Your time is decreasing as you do nothing here.”

 

“Can’t you make it go any faster?”

 

Kise sighs. He looks at Akashi’s body on the bed.

 

“Why did you want to die?”

 

“I am tired,” is all he says.

 

 

 

* * *

42 days left

* * *

 

 

No one visited him still except for the nurses that check on him regularly.

 

“You don’t remember anything from your life?” he asks Kise when he appeared once again.

 

“Nothing, except those that we’re together,” he muses, “there are certain images, sounds, feelings, but nothing concrete.”

 

“Would you like to know about your life?” Akashi tries to tell him something important, but the words seem to get stuck in his throat.

 

“Even if you try to tell me, you won’t be able to,” Kise smirks. “That’s how it is.”

 

“How will you be able to accomplish the things you’re not done with then?”

 

“When you obtain the third teardrop, I get to have one day with all of my memories back and a chance to finish what I have left undone. It’s just a small time, but it will help me move on to the afterlife.”

 

“Why did you choose me?”

 

“I did not. They gave me to you. With a reason, I believe. Through you, I will finish what I did not when I was alive. That’s why I’m really hoping you’d want to live.”

 

“Will you forgive me if you fail because of me?”

 

“I’d like to see you at least try, Akashicchi.”

 

 

* * *

 36 days left

* * *

 

 

The doors open, much to Akashi’s surprise. Kise pops up beside him, smiling wide. 

 

“It’s about time you have visitors, Akashicchi!”

 

“Visitors?”

 

“-then we’ve been here sooner!” he recognizes Momoi’s voice just as she appears from the doorway. Aomine and Kagami follow behind.

 

“I can’t believe Akashi would do this,” Aomine grunts, “That bastard is the strongest among all of us.”

 

“People have their limit, Dai-chan,” she touches Akashi’s hand and squeezes. He feels warm all of a sudden. “You’ve always been strong, Akashi-kun, you can get through this.”

 

“I thought Kuroko would come,” Kagami says, laying the flowers they bought on the way next to his bed.

 

“Tetsu-kun works in a 24/7 convenience store now. He takes the third shift. I figured he’d be sleeping at this time so I just sent him a message. Hopefully he can visit later this night before he works.”

 

“Is he fine now?”

 

“Better than before,” she smiles, “He’s working hard.”

 

“Why are you even asking that, idiot? Tetsu is not that weak.”

 

“I know, I know,” Kagami huffs, “He just worries me ever since that time...”

 

“Tetsu-kun will be fine.”

 

“How about Midorima?”

 

“Midorin is busy right now especially since Takao-kun left for the U.S. and he has no one helping him in his clinic. But he said he’s going to visit as soon as he can.”

 

“How did he take the news?”

 

“He was shocked. No one expected this. Most of all, not him.”

 

The three of them stayed the whole day. More people came in that day, his friends from Rakuzan,his friends from the university, all notified by Momoi. Through listening to their conversations, Akashi found out that his father did not release any news of this incident. It is thanks to Momoi’s skills in gathering information that they knew of what happened to him.

 

Of course, his father will not let this news out. It will disgrace the glorious Akashi name, after all. Why not just let his suffering end right now?

 

* * *

 35 days left

* * *

 

 

He dreams that day, a dream of an old memory. He lies on his bed, his favorite blue blanket covering him, his mother beside him.

 

“Why would he want to kill himself? He was almost free,” he hears his younger self ask in a sleepy voice.

 

His mother combs his hair back and kisses his forehead.

 

“Because he’s tired,” Akashi answers. “Tomorrow would have brought nothing.”

 

“Did you know the last image the boy saw, Seijuurou?” Somehow, his mother is looking both at him and his younger self. She’s wearing her usual soft smile, but there is sadness in her eyes. “He saw the rising sun, and that’s when he realized the new morning would have brought him a better life. And did you know what he thought about it, my dear boy?”

 

“What is it?” he asks.

 

They are now in front of each other, his mother’s hands cold over his. She smiles and says something. But no sound comes out from her lips. The room starts falling apart and his mother turns to a pile of white pills. He falls on his back and the pills start to grow around him, drowning him. When he screams for help, he wakes up. There are no white pills. No dead mother. No young him. Just the empty shell of his body and his empty soul.

 

\----

 

Midorima comes that day bringing nothing but a hardbound book with him. Akashi tries to read the title, but his hand covers it. They always recommended each other good books back then.

 

“Who is he?” Kise suddenly appears behind him. It’s irritating how he always does that, but Akashi heeds no mind.

 

“Shintarou,” he answers quietly, “You were good friends.”

 

“How about the two of you?”

 

“We were more than that.”

 

Midorima takes a seat beside Akashi’s bed and reaches for his hand. Akashi feels warm again, and he puts his hand over Midorima’s. He knows he cannot feel it, but with this he can at least pretend they are holding hands like they always used to.

 

“I told you I’ll always be here for you,” his voice sounds tired and sad. Akashi looks at his face and sees the pain. He cringes. He vowed not to make Midorima look like that again because of him. “You didn’t have to bear it all alone.”

 

“I know,” Akashi whispers, willing for him to hear but to no avail. “But I didn’t want to burden you either.”

 

Midorima lets go of him and opens the book he is holding. The pages are yellow and brittle. He clears his throat before he starts speaking.

 

“They said patients in coma can still hear things. I hope you’re listening. I found this book in our library. Remember that story your mother told you? About the boy who killed himself? Up to this day I wonder why would your mother tell you of such a gruesome tale, but when I read it again, I understood why,” he turns the pages and stops somewhere in the middle, "Listen well."

“‘Miguel laid on the cold ground, the pebbles digging into his back. The first few rays of the sun had reached out into the skies. A new day had arrived. He cried. He wept for the time he had lived and for the time he would not. As the sun sets, darkness arrives but with little light. As the sun rises, the world is consumed by a blinding light that tells of a better day to come. That there is always, always a better time ahead. Before he breathed his last, Miguel had one thought: I should have never given up.’” He closes the book and grabs hold of Akashi’s hand again as if holding on to the remaining life he has.

 

“Your mother must have wanted you to know that. Even though your life is hard, you should never give up hope for tomorrow. Seijuurou,” his voice catches in his throat. Akashi closes his eyes at the sound of his name from Midorima’s lips. It has always been music to his ears, and now it plays a psalm, a prayer to him, “Live.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

34 days left

* * *

 

 

Midorima stayed the night sitting beside Akashi’s bed, not letting go of his hand. There were times he would wake up and look at Akashi’s body, making sure he is still alive. Akashi would sometimes reach for his hair, but when his hand passes through, it just made him feel more hopeless. When Midorima left for work that morning, Akashi had decided on what to do.

 

“Kise.”

 

“Hmm?” he looks up from where he’s sitting, his face without its usual brightness.

 

“How can I collect teardrops if I am in this form?”

 

“Interested now, are we?” Kise smiles suddenly, regaining his liveliness, “Did the Shintarou guy changed your mind? You seemed intimate.”

 

“The answer to my question.”

 

“Well,” Kise bristles at the authority in Akashi’s voice, “You can’t do it in that form, yeah? Well if someone cries voluntarily, it’d be much easier. Possessing a physical body can help you make people cry for you, at least that’s what they said up there. But you can possess only one person within your forty-nine days to accomplish what you need to do.”

 

“And then?”

 

“Then it’s up to you how to collect the three teardrops.”

 

“I can choose anyone?”

 

\----

 

“Why’d you choose him?” Kise looks around the small apartment. It’s clean and kept well, but it feels so quiet and alone. The man Akashi picked to possess for his mission snores lightly on the bed placed by the window, his sky blue hair sticking out on the sides.

 

“He is a friend,” Akashi answers, knowing saying more will not be possible, “Besides, his quirks aren’t that unique. I could blend in and not be noticed if I use him.”

 

“Are you close?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Well, if this is your final decision, I’ll just remind you some things: one, you cannot tell people who you are. Do so and your necklace will go poof and you’re dead for good; two, you can only possess him when he’s sleeping. If you stay in him for more than the time he is asleep, the extra minutes you waste will be deducted from your remaining thirty-four days; three, you have to work for money. The death gods don’t like a lazy soul. Better work as hard as you can, Akashicchi!”

 

It is ten o’clock in the morning. According to what he heard from Momoi, Kuroko’s shift starts at one in the morning and ends at eight. He would usually sleep from nine to seven. That gives him at least ten hours today to start.

 

He sits beside Kuroko and lies down, imitating his form. He feels a pull on his body, as if he’s being sucked into a hole. When he opens his eyes, he feels alive.

 

“Akashicchi!”

 

He turns to look at Kise who is kneeling beside the bed. He raises his arms and sees them frail and white. Kuroko is much thinner than he used to remember. He gets up and looks in front of the mirror. Kuroko’s bed hair has always been terrible.

 

“What’s your plan now?”

 

“I’m going to Shintarou,” his voice is Kuroko’s and he feels disoriented by it. 

 

“Ah, but remember, you cannot reveal who you are. And you need to work.”

 

“I know. Shintarou has asked Kuroko to work for him some time ago,” he rummages through Kuroko’s closet and finds a decent pair of pants and polo shirt. It’s not the usual clothes he is used to wearing but this will have to do. Afterlife doesn’t give him the luxury of picking the brand of his clothes, after all. “What about you? What are you going to do?”

 

“Follow you, for now. I need to look over your situation, to make sure nothing out of bounds will happen.”

 

“Fine. Wait for me then. I’m just going to take a bath, Kise-kun.”  


 

Kise freezes on his ground.

 

“What was that?” he turns slowly and looks at him, a look of complete confusion plastered on his face.

 

“Nothing,” Akashi answers, knowing exactly what he is doing, “I’m just practicing how to be Kuroko.”

 

He started too late in this quest, and he himself is not sure if he can collect those three teardrops. The least he could do is to make Kise remember the things he should.

 

 

\----

 

 

The door chimes ring as Akashi enters the door to Midorima’s clinic. He remembers going here a lot for many reasons. The last time was to break up with him.

 

“Welcome-”, Midorima appears from the checkup room, several papers stacked on his arms “Kuroko! I didn’t think you’d come here. Are you finally accepting the job?”

 

“Hi, Midorima-kun. I gave it some thought,” he answers tentatively, still unsure of how to interact as Kuroko, “I figured this could help me.”

 

“As I’ve told you,” he smiles and brings the papers down on the table. “You’d be a great help, too. Takao just left, I told him this was a crucial time. I’m really shorthanded in the clinic and he still finds time to leave.”

 

“When will he be back?”

 

“He said his training will take six months. Well, you really wouldn’t be stressed too much here. Your duties are to attend to the front desk, greet patients, answer calls. Easy enough?”

 

“Of course,” he answers in his usual way, but then he realizes he might have sounded different because Midorima looked weirdly at him, so he added, “Midorima-kun.”

 

“It’s settled, then. Patients usually come more in the early afternoon. You can buy food outside if you get hungry and there are no patients around. Just tell me so I’d know where you are.”

 

“Do I start today?”

 

“Sure. But I’m closing early.”

 

“You’re visiting Akashi-kun?”

 

“Yes. I heard from my friend in the hospital that his father doesn’t even visit him. I thought he could use some company.”

 

Even after what has happened, Midorima still cared about him. Just how much does Midorima love him, he wonders. 

 

“I’m sure he would like that.”

 

“Thank you,” he smiles slightly, “Well, what do you think I should read him later? I’ve heard reading would be a good method to talk to patients in comatose.”

 

“Dante always does the trick, I think.”

 

“I’ll take note of that.”

 

The door chimes ring and they turn to a patient coming in with a child.

 

“Let’s start working.”

 

\---

 

The clinic closed at four in the afternoon which gave Akashi more time to spend with Midorima. They go to a bookstore together, searching for the book he mentioned earlier. Many times, Akashi almost slipped and called him Shintarou. Many times, he had to stop the urge to reach him from behind and bury his face on Midorima’s back. He arrives back at Kuroko’s apartment feeling tired and discontented.

 

“How was your day, Akashicchi?”

 

“I thought you were going to follow me?”

 

“I lost my mood.”

 

“Even in death, you can still have those mood swings, I see.”

 

“Did I always have moments like this before?”

 

“A lot, but there was one person who’d lift your spirits no matter what.”

 

“I must have liked that person so much,” he smiles fondly, his eyes glazing.

 

“You did. And he liked you too just as the same, though it took quite some time.”

 

Kise gets down from the table and looks at the clock. It’s almost seven in the evening.

 

“You should probably let Kurokocchi sleep on his own now. After all, you’re using the same energy with him.”

 

Akashi lays down on Kuroko’s bed and wills himself out of his body. He feels the familiar pull, and when he opens his eyes, Kuroko is lying down beside him. 

 

“Thank you,” he whispers before he stands up. He turns to Kise who’s momentarily distracted by the photo frames displayed on a cabinet. “I’m going now.”

 

“Where to?” Kise looks at him.

 

“The hospital. Shintarou is visiting me again.”

 

“You could use the time to plan on how you’re going to collect those tears.”

 

“If you do remember me from our times together, then you should realize that I always have a plan.”

 

“Just making sure,” he shrugs.

 

“Are you coming with me?”

 

“No, I’m staying. I want to check on Kurokocchi’s condition after the first possession.”

 

But there is something in the way Kise looks at Kuroko that Akashi realized it is about something more than mere observation.

 

\---

 

Kise watches as Kuroko’s alarm blares and the other man sleepily reach out for it. His bed hair sticks out even though he slept for technically only three hours, and Kise giggles about it. _Cute,_ he thinks.

 

Kuroko prepares his meal and eats them in silence. He turns on the television then and watches some show about basketball. At ten pm, he stands up and takes a bath. By eleven-thirty, he is all set for work. Kise follows behind as he walked towards his workplace. 

 

The convenience store is a bus ride away from Kuroko’s apartment. He takes the seat in front and rests his head on the window. Kise looks at him one more time and comes up with a word: lifeless.

 

“Kurokocchi, why do you look so sad?” he turns his head and looks at him from a different angle. His eyes are dull, and his cheekbones stick out. It doesn’t look like he’s keeping himself healthy.

 

Kuroko steps off on the third station. The convenience store lies not far from the bus stop. He smiles at the man on the counter before proceeding to the staff room and changes into his uniform. He’s on the counter ten minutes before his duty.

 

“You look tired, Kuroko-san,” the man on the counter tells him.

 

“I’m fine, Hanji-san,” he answers while attending to a customer, “I feel like I’m not rested enough. That’s all.”

 

“Well if you’re not feeling well, just tell me so I can let you go home.”

 

“That won’t be necessary.”

 

Kuroko works relentlessly that night, smiling and assisting customers. When there are no people, he will sit back on his chair and pull out a light novel from his bag. He will laugh lightly at times, and Kise will turn to look at him. Seems like he’s fine after the first possession. Hopefully, his weak body can sustain Akashi before the time limit ends. Maybe he should actually remind Akashi to keep Kuroko’s body healthy while he possesses it.

 

“Tetsu-kun! Good evening!”

 

Kuroko and Kise looks at the door at the same time. Momoi comes in with Aomine, as usual.

 

“Momoi-san. Aomine-kun. What brings you here?”

 

“We’re just checking up on you,” Aomine says, his voice softening. He takes hold of Kuroko’s wrist, “See? You’re even thinner than usual. Are you even eating?”

 

Kuroko takes back his hand, touching the spot where Aomine grabbed him.

 

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

 

Aomine frowns and leaves the counter, setting his sights on the chips section of the store.

 

“Tetsu-kun, have you visited Akashi-kun yet?” Momoi asks, putting up a smile.

 

Things between Aomine and Kuroko have been quite rickety since that last time they saw each other when Aomine called him out on his wallowing. The sounds of glass breaking and doors banging still sometimes haunts her.

 

“I haven’t. Maybe I’d try later after my shift.”

 

“Well, if you ever come, you should bring breakfast. Midorima-kun stayed again tonight. I’ve tasted the hospital food, it’s not really nice,” she laughs.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles back. “Did they say how’s his condition?”

 

“The doctor said there’s still a big chance he’d wake up, and we’re all holding onto that hope. Encouraging him would help.”

 

“I don’t think I’m the perfect person for that.”

 

“It might also help you,” she holds his hand and squeezes, “We’re going now. Take care, Tetsu-kun.”

 

“You, too, Momoi-san.”

 

“Dai-chan, we’re going!”

 

Aomine goes back to the counter with chips, soda and a sandwich. Kuroko barcodes them silently.

 

“That would be 500 yen.”

 

“Keep the sandwich.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I said you get the sandwich. Eat up. (     ) wouldn’t like to see you like that.”

 

Kise turns his head in confusion. _Who wouldn’t want to see Kurokocchi like that?_ He didn’t quite hear that part. Aomine and Momoi leaves and Kuroko takes the sandwich. He looks at it as if some secret to the universe might reveal itself before him before he opens the wrapper and takes a bite. 

 

The night went on and somehow, Kise manages to fall asleep. He didn’t know he was still capable of dreaming until he did right there, and _he dreams of a small dining room_. _A television is blaring on some corner and an oven dings. Someone pulls out a plate from it._

 

_“Ah, it’s done!”_

 

_“Really done this time?”_

 

_“Do you doubt me?”_

 

_“I’m just basing from experiences.”_

 

_“I practiced hard, you know. That’s the best sandwich I could have come up with.”_

 

The scene looks like as if he’s looking through a thick glass and he can’t recognize things and faces. The voices sounded strangely familiar, but he can’t put a finger on who their owners are. Yet somehow, he feels he has found home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicating the Kikuro to Kich (:3 I love you so much, Kich :')
> 
> Also RIP to me because the akamido match has just ended. T^T


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

30 days left

* * *

 

 

“Midorima-kun?”

 

Midorima looks up from his paperworks. It’s just almost noon and his hair is already in a mess. The day started quite busy, after all.

 

“I’m getting lunch. What would you like this time?”

 

“The usual.”

 

“Understood.”

 

It has been three days since he first possessed Kuroko. Akashi is now completely comfortable with doing so. He makes sure he arrives back at his house as early as he can to give him the rest his physical body needs. Kise also reminded him to keep Kuroko healthy because if he falls sick, Akashi will not be able to utilize his body for collecting the teardrops. It made sense so he made sure to eat as many healthy foods as he can.

 

The store not far from the clinic sells a variety of hearty meals. He thinks of buying curry rice but remembers Midorima isn’t too fond of it. He just buys two gyudon and heads back. 

 

Today marks the first month since he broke up with Midorima. It was a reckless decision, an unusual thing for him to do, brought on by the multitude of problems and negative emotions that stacked on him. He felt it was wrong to keep Midorima and bring him down with his darkness. What he realized too late was that Midorima was the only light that kept him going, and losing him was the start of his fall.

 

\---

 

“Was it your father?” Midorima asks.

 

It was a memory of not so long ago when Akashi paid Midorima a visit in his clinic. It was one of the few times he had been able to sneak out from his office duties.

 

“Yes,” Akashi sighs and keeps his phone on his pocket, “He just won’t let me alone. I just finished a recent project, now he’s giving me two new ones. It’s not like I can’t handle it, but I need some air, too. I rarely have time alone.”

 

Midorima stands up and hugs him from behind, kissing the top of his head. Akashi leans against him and lets himself be comforted.

 

“I guess in life, you just have to enjoy the littlest things,” Midorima whispers, tickling his ear.

 

“Like the little time I get to spend here alone with you, right?” Akashi turns and hooks his arms around the back of Midorima’s neck. “I’m always happy to be here.”

 

He tiptoes and kisses Midorima full on the lips. Midorima pulls him closer and kisses him back. But then, the doors slide open and they pull away from each other with disappointment.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to knock, Takao?” Midorima stares daggers at Takao who grins and holds his hands up in the air.

 

“You told me to keep track of your schedule and making out with Sei-chan is not on it. Just doing my responsibilities,” he snickers, “Also, you have an appointment in a few moments. I thought you should get ready.”

 

“I’m about to leave anyway,” Akashi fixes his collar and gets his bag on Midorima’s table, “I’ll call you later when I can, Shintarou.”

 

“Take care,” he smiles. “You sure you’re alright now?

 

“Of course.” Being with Midorima never fails to cheer him up. He kisses him one last time on his cheek. “I’ll go now, then. Bye.”

 

“See you again, Sei-chan.”

 

Akashi leaves the clinic in a happier note, hearing Takao’s “Get a room next time, will you, Shin-chan?” before the door closes on him. 

 

\---

 

Kise persuades him to follow Kuroko that night. He tells him he should at least know what’s going on with the life of the person he is possessing.

 

“Also,” he adds, seeing that Akashi is still not changing his mind about going to the hospital to see his body and Midorima, “What if someone Kurokocchi knows gets to see you in the morning? What if they talk? And then you bump into that person and you’d be clueless about what to say? And then you end up revealing who you are?”

 

“Isn’t that why you’re the one who’s going with him every night?”

 

“Please, Akashicchi, just this one night.”

 

He remembers Kise back in their middle school years, asking for a different favor but doing the same expression. His eyes are wider and his lips are in a pout. _Just one more game. Just for the next game. Just this time._

 

“Why?” he asks, “Why this certain night?”

 

Kise fidgets on his ground, biting his lower lip like a child would. Kuroko sits in front of the television, all prepared to go out and unaware of his visitors.

 

“He’s not working tonight,” he finally says, “But he’s still going out. I’m worried. You should be worried, too. Taking care of your host’s body is your responsibility.”

 

In the end, he concedes to Kise’s wish. Kuroko leaves earlier than usual, and they did not take the bus. They follow him as he walks aimlessly, hands hidden in the pockets of his jacket and his head bowed down. Akashi remembers Kuroko in their basketball days, when he’s used as a trump card because of his lack of presence and misdirection. Somehow, he’s gotten even more harder to notice now like this.

 

They end up on a children’s playground. Kuroko sits on a swing and slowly pushes himself off with his feet. He does it for many times and when he is satisfied, he lets his feet off the ground. The cold wind blows his hair around his face and Kise thinks he’s never seen such a lonely angel before. The swing slowly creaks to a stop. Kuroko puts his feet down.

 

“We did this together before,” he says after a long moment of silence, his grip tightening to the chains of the swing “You promised you’re never going to leave me.”

 

Kuroko cries right there. Akashi feels sad for him, knowing what brought this up. He looks at Kise and is surprised to find tears in his eyes, too.

 

“You’re crying.”

 

Kise is shocked himself and quickly wipes away his tears. He looks at Kuroko wistfully.

 

“Kurokocchi is so sad. I feel like...I want to do something to make him smile.”

 

 

* * *

27 days left

* * *

 

 

 

The morning started busy for both Midorima and Akashi. Akashi has less than a month left and he has yet to collect a single teardrop. He had something planned for today, but with these flow of patients, he can’t get the chance.

 

“Akashicchi, your time is running out,” Kise reminds him while he’s stacking the patients’ files in the drawer. It’s a little past lunch time and Midorima is checking on a patient inside. No one is in the waiting area, thankfully, for the fist time in four hours.

 

“I’m very well aware of that.”

 

“You do know you’re connection to the living world will weaken as your days count down to zero?”

 

“You told me that already.”

 

“I’m just...worried. Akashicchi, I want you to live. Please work as hard as you can.”

 

_I want to live, too,_ he thinks.

 

The doors to Midorima’s office opens and his patient comes out with a smile. She picks up her umbrella that is leaning against the wall.

 

“Thank you again, Midorima-sensei. What would I ever do without you?”

 

“Thank you, too, for your patronage, Mrs. Kawahara. Please don’t forget to take the medicine regularly, okay?”

 

“Yes, of course. Next time, then.”

 

“Ah, hopefully not for the same reason.”

 

Mrs. Kawahara laughs heartily. Midorima laughs along, but Akashi notices that his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. When Mrs. Kawahara finally leaves, he drops the smile he’s keeping up.

 

“Tired?” Akashi asks, holding up a glass of water to him. Midorima takes it gratefully and drinks it in one gulp.

 

“That was a hectic morning.” He sits himself on the couch where Kise just stood up from. Kise makes a face at Akashi at almost being sat on.

 

“Do you want to close up for a bit? You don’t have any appointments anyway until three.”

 

“That would be a good idea.” 

 

“You should take a nap, Midorima-kun. You look so tired,” he turns the sign on the door around and pulls down the blinds. “Have you been visiting Akashi-kun still?”

 

“Yeah,” he sighs and leans back, closing his eyes, “No one hardly visits him.”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“How did you feel when you...heard about Akashi-kun?” Akashi asks.

 

The room is filled with the soft piano music that has been playing since that morning and the whirring of the air conditioning unit. Akashi shifts on his heel, wondering if maybe asking him that was a wrong move.

 

“Shocked at first. Surprised,” he answers finally, “I blamed myself afterwards.”

 

_No,_ Akashi thinks to himself. Midorima still has his eyes closed but his forehead is creased into a frown. 

 

“I was the one closest to him, and yet I wasn’t able to do anything to stop this from happening.”

 

_Stop blaming yourself._

 

“He broke up with me, you know, just over a month ago. He was not his usual self. He comes in here and tells me he’s breaking our relationship off. I thought he was just tired of me.”

 

_Never._

 

“We’ve known each other since middle school, of course. Our relationship started in high school. Come to think of it, a relationship this long shouldn’t be possible. It was just a matter of time before it must end.”

 

_No._

 

“And it did,” he opens his eyes then and smiles bitterly, “But it’d be alright for me that we stay that way if it’d mean he gets to live.”

 

\- - -

 

Akashi touches the teardrop pendant to his lips. On the other corner of the room, Kuroko sleeps soundly on his bed. Kise is crouched in front of Kuroko’s bed, looking at the sleeping man with a facial expression of a person solving a crossword. Akashi pays him no mind because Midorima’s words keep on echoing inside his head. He didn’t realize Midorima would think of his suicide like that. What if he actually died? Would Midorima have blamed himself for his whole life?

 

“I’m a terrible person.”

 

“You might have been,” Kise says, “You know after hearing Midorimacchi’s words earlier, I think you’re even more terrible than I am. I mean, I would never break up with the person I love out of nowhere and make them feel like shit.”

 

Akashi lets out a surprised sound. Kise isn't someone who would talk back to him when he was alive. He is about to put him in his place when the pendant suddenly felt warm against his fingers. He looks at it and sees a sphere-shaped hole inside.

 

“Kise.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“What does this mean?” he holds up the pendant for him to see.

 

“Finally!” Kise is beside him in a flash, jumping excitedly, “That means someone has cried for you!”

 

His heart pounds faster against his chest. One less teardrop to worry about. Two more, and he can live again. Two more and he can correct his mistakes. And he can tell Midorima that none of this was his fault and that he will never get tired of him and that the two of them together is what was right.

 

Just two more.

 

\---

_(“_ _I saw the beautiful things that the sky holds: and we issued out, from there, to see, again, the stars,” the last lines of Dante’s Inferno echoes sadly in the hospital room._

 

_Midorima closes the book and places it on top of the table. Akashi lays unresponsive, but the monitor assures him he is still alive. He reaches for his hand and holds it tightly._

 

_“It has been a month, hasn’t it? Kuroko asked me about you earlier. Has he visited you already? I told him what I’ve been denying for quite some time now: that I blame myself for this. For what happened to you. Remember back in middle school when you...changed and I did nothing? There was no moment that I did not regret that. I wanted to save you before. And I want to save you now. History repeats itself,” he laughs bitterly and his eyes burn, “But it doesn’t have to end the same. Please, Seijuurou, I don’t want to lose you again.”_

 

_Tears he has been holding back finally fall from his eyes.)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as usual :D This was quite short but aah I'll make up for it next time (:3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is KiKuro-centric~ For Kichie(-kun) who's fighting hard in her acads right now. You can do it!!!

“That would be five-hundred and thirty two yen.”

 

Kuroko punches in the numbers mechanically, his fingers moving in automated precision. He’s been doing this job for quite some time and it feels a part of him already. He doesn’t have to think much to accomplish his task, and it helps because if he starts thinking, he starts remembering. And remembering makes him numb.

 

When the customer goes out, he slumps on his seat and pulls out the book he is reading. Reading is good, too. His mind fills up with things unrelated to his own life, and he gets to be another person. The character’s worries become his own, and his own’s become non-existent.

 

Kise takes a peek at him over the shelf for instant noodles. He’s still quite heartbroken from Akashi’s refusal to come with him that night.

 

“I have to plan ahead,” was all he said before turning his back on him and sitting on Kuroko’s bed, his elbows on his knees, his eyes closed in deep thought. 

 

Why is he responsible again for the host body?

 

Well, it’s not like he hates looking after Kuroko. Over the few weeks he’s been watching over him, he has felt a certain attachment to the young man. Kuroko’s not particularly striking, and he doesn’t stand out at all. Even though, Kise finds himself looking at him from time to time. His eyes gravitate back to Kuroko like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Kuroko-san.”

 

Kuroko looks up from his book and looks at Hanji who has just gone out of the inventory room. He’s holding a clipboard before him, tapping his pen against it.

 

“Is anything the matter, Hanji-san?”

 

“Can you take over in checking the inventory? You did it before, right? I’m not familiar with how you arranged things so...”

 

“Ah,” Kuroko stands immediately, suddenly feeling light-headed at the sudden change of position. He steadies himself. “Sure. Sure. Please take over here.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Kuroko grabs the clipboard from him and enters the inventory room. He gets to work immediately, checking the stocks in accordance to what was listed. Kise watches him from the opposite side of the shelf, his cheek resting on his palm.

 

“I’ve always been wondering who you are to me when I was alive. You seem pretty important,” he says out loud, knowing the other man can’t hear him at all, “A best friend? Probably? But I really don’t see the two of us getting along. You’re always so quiet, serious. I think I wouldn’t have cared about you at all.”

 

He walks over to Kuroko and looks at him closely, the distance between them too close that it could have bothered Kuroko if he can see Kise. 

 

Kuroko tiptoes and grabs the box at the top of the shelf. As the box is almost off the shelf, the world spins under his foot. 

 

Kise instinctively reaches up to stop the box from falling and his hand touches Kuroko’s. The other man shivers, and Kise pulls away realizing he has been sensed. 

 

Kuroko forces his eyes open. Why did it seem so cold all of a sudden? His vision spins again and he grabs hold of the shelf to stop himself from falling. His breaths come in gasps. He tries to call for Hanji, but his voice comes out raggedly. The world turns black and he feels his body hit the ground, but not before he hears a familiar voice:

 

_“Kurokocchi!”_

 

\---

 

Kise drops to his knees and tries to shake Kuroko awake. The death gods would be angry about him materializing to interfere with humans, but surely they will understand if it’s about the host body?

 

“Kurokocchi, please wake up! Ah..what to do? If Akashicchi didn’t leave me, then maybe I know what to do now! Hanji-san! Hanji-san! Ah! Shit. Of course, he wouldn’t hear me!”

 

His eyes find the open box of canned goods placed on the third shelf. If it falls, it’d make enough noise, right? He stands up and pushes it off the shelf . The cans fall to the ground, clanging loudly. _Please. Please._

 

“Kuroko-san! What happened?” The doors burst open. Kise dematerializes just in time. Hanji finds Kuroko’s body sprawled on the ground. “Kuroko-san!”

 

He pulls out his phone from his pocket to call for an ambulance as he goes to Kuroko’s side and pulls him up into a sitting position. He checks his pulse and breathing. Still unconscious and unresponsive. Kise sits beside him, touching his cheek lightly.

 

“Please be alright, Kurokocchi.” 

 

\---

 

“Kurokocchi!”

 

Kise’s excited call bounces harshly around the library walls. Kuroko eyes the other man pointedly.

 

“Please be quiet inside the library, Kise-kun.”

 

But his request does not help in any way because the university students, especially the females, have already spotted Kise. His popularity has boomed even more when they stepped into college and one would have to be living under a rock to not hear of Kise Ryouta. Whispers started to spread and the librarian had to press the bell a lot of times before almost everyone quieted down.

 

“Let me help you,” he shrugs and takes the topmost books from Kuroko’s arms, “Where do these go?”

 

“At the sixth row up there,” he points with his lips to a spot that he can’t quite reach without additional height, “Thank you, Kise-kun.”

 

They work together for a while with Kise happily humming to himself. Kuroko gives him the books to be put at the topmost shelves and he graciously places them up there.

 

“Don’t you have a photoshoot today?”

 

“Ah, it’s a day off for me. Rare to have one, isn’t it?”

 

“Shouldn’t you be resting? I understand that a life of a model can be so demanding. You should not be exhausting your body.”

 

“But I won’t enjoy staying alone in my apartment. Also, we haven’t seen each other for quite some time, have we?” he looks at him and smiles brightly, and somehow Kuroko’s heart hurts at how beautiful Kise looked and how he reminded him of the sunrise he loves waking up to, “I’d rather spend my time with you, Kurokocchi.”

 

* * *

26 days left

* * *

 

 

Kuroko opens his eyes groggily, fragments of his dream about his university life with Kise slowly drifting away from his mind. But not the sound of his name leaving Kise’s lips. _Kurokocchi._ He remembers hearing it before he passed out. It’s been so long since he last heard his name called like that.

 

“Tetsu-kun?”

 

He looks to his left and sees Momoi. Her hair is tied up in a neat bun and she’s wearing her uniform in the university she’s teaching in.

 

“Momoi-kun...don’t you have work today?”

 

“Stop doing that, Tetsu-kun,” she smiles, “You’ve fainted in your duty and are now confined, and still you think about other people.”

 

“I don’t want to trouble you...”

 

“I’m not being troubled. We’re friends, okay? This is just natural. Besides, my class starts at the afternoon so it’s all fine. Someone had to be with you here.”

 

“What happened? I was in the inventory, wasn’t I?”

 

“Yes, and then your co-worker Hanji-kun found you unconscious next to a fallen box of canned goods. He had an ambulance called, then he called Midorima’s number since it’s the latest one registered on your call log. But he can’t be reached so he called Aomine next. He was just here before me, but he had to go to his duty in the police station. The doctor said it was just a normal fainting spell caused by exhaustion and hunger. Tetsu-kun,” she purses her lips in dismay, “You haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

 

“I’m alright, Momoi-san. I just have to rest this off.”

 

“It’s not just that, Tetsu-kun. You still...haven’t moved on from that day. Over a year has passed already! Kicchan-”

 

“If you are about to start on saying he wouldn’t like seeing me be this way, please don’t continue. Because the thing is you don’t know what he would think. He’s not here anymore to say a single thing about what I do, is he? So please, stop using his name. It’s not helping.”

 

Momoi gulps and looks down on her hand, clenching them together. The patient next to them starts coughing uncontrollably, the only noise that filled the awkward silence between the two of them.

 

“I apologize,” Kuroko says after a while.

 

“It’s alright,” Momoi tries to smile, “The hospital bill has been settled already from your work benefits. You can actually leave now, just let me notify the doctor.”

 

“Ah, Akashi-kun is confined here, too, isn’t he?”

 

“Yes. He’s in room 1033. You should visit him if you can. I have to go to the university now, so I won’t be able to accompany you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“I’ll call the doctor now,” she stands and grabs her things that’s placed on the table.

 

“One last thing,” Kuroko remembers what Momoi just told him, “You said Midorima-kun was the first on my call logs?”

 

“Yes. Is anything the matter?”

 

“Nothing,” he shakes his head.

 

“Okay then, just wait for the doctor, alright?”

 

“Thank you again. And I’m sorry.”

 

Momoi smiles at him one last time leaves. He did not tell her, but the thing is he can’t remember calling Midorima at all.

 

\---

 

“Stop pacing around, Kise. It’s vexing.”

 

“Sorry, “ Kise mumbles and slumps on Kuroko’s bed. He hasn’t been able to see him since the ambulance took him away with Aomine riding with him. Hanji contacted him, too, and he arrived even earlier than the ambulance. His worried face mirrored his feelings, and he was actually glad someone was there to take care of Kuroko. But still, he wished it could have been him. He wants to know badly how Kuroko is now.

 

“Kuroko will be fine,” Akashi says from the other corner of the room. He’s been out of his good mood since morning arrived but Kuroko did not. It’s a day wasted. And a day of not being with Midorima. “If he was with Aomine, then he will be fine.”

 

“You know, Akashicchi, ever since you got that first teardrop...I’ve been having this feeling inside my chest everytime I think about Kurokocchi. Just how important was he to me?”

 

“Very,” is the only word Akashi is able to get out before that strange force makes him silent and unable to speak more about Kuroko. 

 

Kise looks at him and understands. Kuroko was definitely more than just a simple friend.

 

Suddenly, Akashi stands up from his seat, his eyes wide.

 

“Shintarou.”

 

“What about him?” Kise looks at him weirdly.

 

“Shintarou would definitely hear about this. He will go to Kuroko as soon as he can.”

 

Kise gasps, realizing the gravity of the situation.

 

“They might run into each other!”

 

\---

 

Kuroko knocks on Room 1033. No one answers. He opens the door and finds the room empty except for Akashi’s unconscious body hooked to several machines. He enters quietly, afraid that he might disturb Akashi by making too much noise. He has never looked so peaceful before, and if he didn’t know his circumstances, he’d think Akashi looks better this way.

 

“It’s been quite some time, Akashi-kun,” he greets, sitting on the chair next to his bed. “I’m sorry if I only got to visit now. Things have been...ah, how do I say this...well, they’ve never been the same since...Ryouta...died. It’s just like other people would say, he’s the sun. He shined so bright, and when he was gone, I was plunged into darkness. I’ve never quite found my footing since.”

 

“Can you hear me right now? I hope you can. Midorima-kun...I’ve seen how he looks at you, especially when you’re not looking. It’s the look of finding the light at the end of the tunnel, a look so hopeful, and happy. I would know, I have looked at people that way before. I can only imagine how it would wreck him if you leave him. I might not be in the position to tell you this, but please don’t give up just yet. You still have the most important person of your life with you. You probably still have promises to keep. You can still win this. You always win.”

 

\---

 

“Excuse me.”

 

“Yes?” The nurse on the information desk turns to find a distressed looking Midorima. “Ah, Midorima-sensei! Can I help you?”

 

“Is a Kuroko Tetsuya confined here?”

 

“Let me check.”

 

“Thank you,” Midorima exhales and turns around, leaning against the counter. He had his phone unknowingly turned off the whole night, and when he got the chance to open it at the clinic, a message from Kuroko’s phone told him that Kuroko has fainted in his duty at the convenience store and needs medical attention. A second message said that he had been brought already to the hospital. Midorima closed the clinic and hurried to where Kuroko is supposed to be in.

 

“Midorima-sensei, he has just checked out a few minutes ago.”

 

“Did you see him go?”

 

“I’m sorry, I did not,” the nurse smiles apologetically.

 

“Midorin!”

 

He turns to see Momoi walking towards him.

 

“Momoi. Were you with Kuroko?”

 

“Ah, yeah. He had checked out about thirty minutes ago. He’s probably in Akashi’s room by now. I told him to pay him a visit.”

 

“How was he?”

 

“Just over exhaustion, the doctor said. He’s been advised to rest for a few days.”

 

“That’s good. Thank you. I’ll go see him now.”

 

“See you again, Midorin,” she waves.

 

Midorima takes the elevator and presses the button for the 10th floor. Kuroko did not tell him he was also working for the convenience store in the third shift. If he had known, he wouldn’t have made Kuroko take the job in his clinic. Of course, he’d be over exhausted. There’s no way he can rest properly with that schedule. When the doors open to the 10th floor, he rushes to Akashi’s room. He needs to talk to Kuroko as soon as possible.

 

Upon reaching Akashi’s room, he hears a voice coming from inside. It must be Kuroko. He takes a deep breath. He isn’t usually this harsh, but he needs to fire Kuroko from the clinic for his own good. And they need to have the talk _right now._

 

He opens the door.

 

“Kuroko, you-”

 

A male nurse looks quizzically at him. Midorima takes an involuntary step back.

 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were someone...,” he tries not to look embarrassed despite wanting to disintegrate at his spot right now. He had his voice raised earlier. What would the nurse think of him?

 

“Oh, you must be expecting someone else. There was a person here just a while ago when I entered. I told him I was just gonna clean the room but then I looked again and he was gone.” That was Kuroko, alright. “I’ve just finished here, sir. I’d be going now.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The nurse leaves and closes the door behind him. Midorima stays, sitting beside Akashi’s bed. He reaches out and pushes his bangs away from his eyes. Since he’s here, he might as well keep Akashi company for the rest for the day.

 

"It's  _Purgatorio_ for today, isn't it?"

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Kuroko flops on his bed, his bag landing with a thud on the floor. He closes his eyes for a moment and lets the silence fill him. Come to think of it, his apartment had been feeling quite strange the past few days. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and checks the call logs for the umpteenth time. 

 

_Midorima Shintarou. 12:25 PM._  

 

The only logical explanation that comes to his mind is that somehow, the phone was accidentally unlocked maybe from being hidden deep within his bag and Midorima’s number was accidentally dialed. Other explanations just seem surreal.

 

He looks up at his cabinet, and his eyes widen. He stands immediately to observe it closer. His eyes aren’t playing tricks on him, are they? The photo frame where in he and Kise are on their university graduation is clearly displayed. Kise’s smile was so wide on that picture that it started to hurt looking at it. He clearly remembers putting it face down and never touching it again.

 

It’s standing upright now.

 

\---

 

Kuroko slept the whole day, much to Akashi’s relief. It will not be good to have him away from his eyes for so long. It’s lucky that he hasn’t crossed paths with Midorima. If he ever did, all that he’s been working for will be for naught.

 

It is convenient, too, for Kise has stopped following Kuroko around the small apartment as if he will vanish the moment he stops looking at him. Now, Kise sits beside Kuroko’s bed, his head resting on his arms. Even while sleeping, he still has grace and poise. He doesn’t even snore, unlike Kuroko who does, lightly so. 

 

Midorima snores, too, he clearly remembers. He’s especially loud when he’s really tired, but he denies it. Akashi even recorded it once to prove it to him. Midorima had to chase him around his apartment for him to delete the recording. Akashi chuckles at the memory.

 

Why did he forget about the littlest things that made his days better? Why did he give up so easily?

 

* * *

25 days left

* * *

 

 

Akashi enters the clinic with a frowning Midorima waiting for him. Midorima’s frown isn’t something new to Akashi as he has been at its receiving end so many times before, but this certain day, it holds a different intensity.

 

“Kuroko.”

 

Even Akashi feels a chill run down his spine at the sound of his voice. “Yes, Midorima-kun?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you already have another job?”

 

“I didn’t think it mattered at the moment,” he answers calmly, slowly drawing out his words, “And you were so eager to give me the job, I can’t refuse.”

 

“Look, Kuroko, I offered you the job here because I thought you weren’t doing anything. Being busy can be helpful, but being too busy is already harmful. Look what happened to you yesterday. You collapsed on your other job, didn’t you?”

 

“It was just a lapse of judgment on my part. It will not happen again.”

 

“Yes, it will not happen again because I won’t give you any more reason to be vulnerable to exhaustion,” he pulls out an envelope from his pockets and gives it to him. “Take this.”

 

Akashi takes the envelope, knowing all too well what it will already contain. He opens it and counts a month’s worth of salary.

 

“I’m fired.”

 

“I have to do it. I hired to help you, but if working here is actually worse for you, then I have to let you go.”

 

_No_. He can’t be separated from Midorima. Not now that he’s here and there are only two teardrops left to be collected. 

 

He looks up at him with wide eyes, just like how he saw Kuroko did it to everyone before. It was a look that gets Kuroko his way with Aomine, Kise, Momoi and sometimes, even with him, too. 

 

“But I like working here.” The effect is immediate on Midorima and he steps back a little. Akashi pushes further, stepping forward, “Being around you helped me a lot! Please, don’t fire me, Midorima-kun.”

 

Midorima coughs and pushes up his glasses.

 

“If you liked working that much here, I have one condition: you’d have to quit your other job.”

 

Akashi takes a step back of his own.

 

He can’t do that, can he? It is Kuroko’s job, and it’s out of his control in his present form. If Kuroko loses his job, then he won’t have any reason to be awake at night. Then he would be awake instead in the mornings, and by consequence, Akashi won’t be able to possess him this way. 

 

“I can’t,” he drops his hands to his sides. Sometimes, you have to back away in order to win. “I owe Hanji-san a lot.”

 

“Then I’m afraid you have to go, Kuroko.”

 

“Thank you for the chance, Midorima-kun,” Akashi bows low after a long moment of silence. “Wouldn’t you be short-handed while I’m gone then?”

 

“Don’t worry about that anymore. Takao will be back in a few days. That guy, he said he didn’t like the training so he’s returning at once.”

 

“That’s good, then,” he places the envelope on the table and smiles at Midorima, “I can’t accept this, but thank you.”

 

“But-”

 

“See you again, Midorima-kun,” without letting him object further, Akashi exits the clinic and walks briskly away. 

 

Kise pops up beside him from nowhere, holding a broom on his right hand. His pants are rolled up to his knees and he’s wearing a plain white shirt, in contrast to the the usual blue polo he wears every day.

 

“I heard you got fired.”

 

“That happened literally just a minute ago.”

 

“I did tell you when we agreed on the 49 days gig, you have to work for money. The death gods realized at once that you got fired so they pulled me away from wherever I was before to tell you that you have at least 48 hours to look for another job, else the contract will be over.”

 

Akashi turns sharply at Kise. 

 

“I didn’t know about this.”

 

Kise raises his hands up in the air. 

 

“I...didn’t think you’d actually lose your job at Midorimacchi’s clinic so I thought it’d be unnecessary to...tell you.”

 

“Kise! That was a vital information. How can I possibly find a job in two days time?”

 

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, ah, can’t you just go back and ask Midorimacchi to take you in again?”

 

He resumes walking, his mind already reeling as to what possible jobs could he find in such a short time.

 

“It’s impossible. He worries for me -for Kuroko- that’s why he had to fire me. He will not be the type to back out on his decisions. Besides, he said Takao will be back soon. There won’t be any space for me in the clinic.”

 

“Oh, what is this I hear?” Kise scoots closer and bumps their shoulders, “Are you actually jealous?”

 

“Of course not. Takao is a good friend of mine. It’s just that...I had hoped I could spend more time with Shintarou with the little days I have left.”

 

“You’re not giving up aren’t you?”

 

“No,” he shakes his head, “but I’m not too sure where I stand right now. Why are you carrying a broom anyway?”

 

“Ah, this? I was cleaning Kurokocchi’s place. It’s getting really dusty.”

 

“Aren’t you getting too attached to Kuroko?”

 

“Is it bad that I care for the host body more than you do?”

 

“You did tell me before you’re starting to have this feeling inside of you every time you think of Kuroko. How is it going now?”

 

Kise hugs the broom handle and rests his cheek on the surface of the cool metal.

 

“Sometimes I wonder why Kurokocchi looks so cute,” he sighs dreamily, almost sounding like a high school student in love, “I mean, have you looked at those eyes? Every time I look at them, I think I’m staring at a cloudless sky and it gives me a calm feeling, you know? But then underneath those eyes, I sense a strong spirit that never gives up. Ah, I really like you.”

 

“You mean Kuroko.”

 

“Oh...right. Right. Damn,” he bumps his forehead against the broom handle thrice,“I forgot you’re currently possessing him right now.”

 

“And please stop praising his physical attributes while I’m in this body. It feels awkward.”

 

“Sorry,” Kise’s face falls and he drops the broom on the ground, sweeping the path he’s walking on. “Kurokocchi’s still always in my mind and I can’t do anything to stop myself form thinking of him.”

 

“Why don’t you just help me find a place who’s hiring? It should take your mind off of Kuroko for a while.”

 

Kise concedes and they part ways on the park not far from the clinic. They agree to meet at the same place in an hour. Akashi walks around the street littered with cafes and small kiosks, asking for available work. Kuroko’s lack of presence slowed him down, but he managed to talk to several people. In the end, he finds two job prospects: one for a janitorial position in a small diner, while the other is a kitchen job. Both of these he lacks experience in and he puts his hope on Kise. He pulls out the wallet that he uses and counts the remaining money he has left. 5000 yen. It would suffice for a meal and a train ride home. But then, for tomorrow, he probably will have barely little left. He’s never been so broke before. 

 

“Akashicchi!” He looks up and sees Kise running excitedly towards him. “I found a hiring on one of the cofeeshops. They’re looking for a cashier.”

 

“Great,” he stands excitedly. He needs the money badly. “Lead me there.”

 

“Uhm,” Kise looks at something behind him, “You might want to wait.”

 

Akashi turns around and sees Midorima running towards him, his white coat still on. He looks like he’s been running for quite some time and sweat trailed down his forehead. He’s panting by the time he reaches Akashi and he takes a few seconds to catch his breath before he pulls out the envelope with Akashi’s salary from his pocket.

 

“You have to get this,” he tells him, “You worked for it.”

 

“I only worked for a few days, Midorima-kun. Telling me that I deserve a month’s salary would just feel like you're pitying me.”

 

“I’m not-”

 

“You are. I don’t want your pity.”

 

Midorima looks at him, a deep frown etched on his forehead. He then opens the envelope and pulls out some bills.

 

“42,000 yen. That’s for the seven days you have worked in the clinic. Would that be fair enough for you?”

 

Akashi looks at Midorima’s eyes and then at the money on his hands. He can only imagine how Midorima must have swallowed his pride to not force him to get the whole amount. He calmly takes it and smiles slightly.

 

“Thank you, Midorima-kun.”

 

“Well, shouldn’t you be going home now?”

 

“I’m looking for a new job.”

 

“What?” Midorima snaps. “I didn’t fire you so that you can find another job, Kuroko.”

 

“I’m not under your employment now so I believe I am free to make my own decisions about this matter.”

 

“It’s not being about your employer, Kuroko, it’s being about your...,” his face contorts like he just smelled something unpleasant and he weaves his hand through his hair in frustration, “Look. I’m just trying to support you. It’s something I wasn’t able to do with Akashi, and I don’t want something like that to happen again. But this has to go both ways for it to work. Do you understand?”

 

Akashi hates how he’s being chastised like a child. Midorima was never like this to him. But then, that is probably because Midorima sees him as an equal, one who is in no need of reprimanding. Midorima believed in Akashi, but a little too much.

 

“I need to work in the day,” he says, sitting down on the bench defeatedly, “I can’t tell you why, but if I don’t...some things I’m working hard to get will be completely out of reach for me.”

 

“I can take you back, but you’ll only work half the day. You’re not allowed to take a job anywhere else besides the convenience store. Takao will exchange shifts with you. Would that arrangement be good enough?”

 

“Why are you being so...kind to me?”

 

“I want to help you. Akashi used to talk about how he was worried for you, and I’m sure he would have wanted to help, too. It’s been years, but we’re still your captain and vice-captain, somehow. We still take responsibility.”

 

Akashi smiles to himself. Midorima talks about the two of them as one, and it gives him more reason to fight on and complete his task.

 

“Well,” he stands and pats his pants clean, looking ahead, “What shall I buy you for lunch then, Midorima-kun?”

 

Midorima lets out a sigh of relief and stands beside him.

 

“Let’s eat outside this time. My treat.”

 

Kise follows sulkily as they stroll around the streets looking for a place to eat. But he doesn’t complain, because he sees how happy Akashi is. And in turn, he sees Kuroko’s face smiling. For some reason, it's enough.

 

\---

 

Kuroko steps off a different station, and Kise is momentarily alarmed. Kuroko left earlier than usual. The last time he did this, he walked alone to an empty park. But this night, he takes an unfamiliar road. Kise follows closely to not lose sight of Kuroko.

 

After many turns and steps, Kuroko stops at a small wooden house. Red banners hang from the roof printed with strange calligraphy and symbols. An incense is burning from the porch, and a statue of a male and female in long, flowing, white robes decorated the entrance. The man is wielding a long sword while the female stands behind him. On its base, “Izanami and Izanagi” is written. 

 

“The god and goddess that represents the cycle of life and death,” Kuroko tells no one in particular, “How fitting.”

 

The door slides open and an old man comes out, hiking up his spectacles to look closer at Kuroko. It is only for a moment, but Kise thinks the old man looks at him, too.

 

“What can I do for you, boy?”

 

“Good evening, sir,” Kuroko bows in greeting, “I’ve come to ask about spirits.”

 

“What about it?”

 

“Recently, it feels as if something...someone has been haunting me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry for those who were waiting for quite some time OTL


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_ The door slides open and an old man comes out, hiking up his spectacles to look closer at Kuroko. It is only for a moment, but Kise thinks the old man looks at him, too. _

 

_ “What can I do for you, boy?” _

 

_ “Good evening, sir,” Kuroko bows in greeting, “I’ve come to ask about spirits.” _

 

_ “What about it?” _

 

_ “Recently, it feels as if something...someone has been haunting me.” _

 

* * *

 

 

The smell of incense fills Kuroko’s nostrils and many times he had to stop himself from sneezing. The old man, who introduced himself as Mizutarou, has been chanting a prayer since he sat down in front of the small altar with a strand of Kuroko’s hair in his right hand. It still hurts where he suddenly pulled on his hair. The man brings his palms together loudly and it grabs his attention.

 

“There’s a spirit,” he announces, turning his head partly towards Kuroko. “There’s a spirit that has been attached to you these past few days.”

 

“Can you tell me what they look like?” He holds his breath, waiting for Kise’s description to come out from the old man’s mouth.

 

“It is strange...because I can’t get a clear image of the spirit hanging around you. Spirits of the dead would be easy to see, so this one is still alive, hanging barely to its life. Anyone you know?”

 

Akashi comes to his mind immediately. “I have a friend. He’s in a comatose right now after an incident.”

 

“Well, there goes your answer.” He takes the incense and dips the burning end on a nearby bowl of water. “He’s not haunting you, per se. But, ah, he’s been...how do I say this, inside you?”

 

“Inside me?” He’s mildly bewildered by the term used. It’s a tad too intimate and not to mention weird.

 

“Possession. That’s the term.” He snaps his fingers in the air. “Your friend might be needing you for something. You should try making contact with him, know what he wants. Why he’s hanging around.”

 

“How can I do that?”

 

“Normally I’d teach you some procedure that requires a sentimental belonging of your friend, leaves of amaranth and cacao, and an ancient prayer. Real complicated process. But since this friend of yours seems attached to you already, why not try talking to him in the comfort of your own place, eh? Wait for me here.” 

 

Mizutarou stands and walks over to the sliding door that leads him to another part of his place. Kuroko remains where he is, feeling a little bit disappointed. He had hoped it was Kise that he had been feeling, then maybe he could have had one last chance to talk to him again. It’s probably too much to ask for. Well now that he knows it is actually Akashi, he might as well do something about it. Maybe this is a sign that the other man hasn’t given up yet, and Kuroko will try his best to help.

 

“Here you go,” Mizutarou says as he returns, Kuroko’s attention returning to him. He’s holding a few pieces of leaves on his hand. “Sage. Helps in grounding you to this realm while you contact spirits. It should help you talk to your friend.”

 

“Thank you, Mizutarou-san.” He takes the sage and smells it, earthy and herbaceous. “How much for this?”

 

“No need to pay, son. A young man like you has more than just spirits to face, hm?” The old man smiles at him and Kuroko gets a feeling he sees beyond what’s in front of him. “I’ll be praying to the gods for you.”

 

-

 

Kise has been losing his mind for the past few minutes over the fact that he can’t step an inch inside the house that Kuroko went into. He’s never faced such a situation as an angel of death. Would the death god assigned to him know what to do? But ah, he’s always been afraid to talk to that old lady. Even his charms don’t work on her deep frown. Surely, he’d get an earful if he tries to ask her about this.

 

Finding no answer by himself, he finally seeks Akashi and ends up appearing inside his hospital room. Midorima is sitting beside Akashi’s bed, telling the unconscious body about his day. Akashi, meanwhile, is sitting on the foot of the bed as he listens fondly to everything Midorima had to say.

 

“Akashicchi!”

 

The other man turns around swiftly at his voice.

 

“Kise? What are you doing here? Why are you not with Kuroko?”

 

“That’s my concern, actually.” He walks over to him, weaving his hand through his hair nervously. “I was following Kurokocchi go into this house, I think it was a priest’s? Okay, so he talks to an old man, then they go in, and I tried to follow him but I can’t! It’s like there’s this wall that is stopping me!”

 

“A priest, you say?”

 

“I think.”

 

“He must be starting to have an idea about what’s happening around him.”

 

“Exactly! That’s why we need to know what the old man is going to tell him. What if...what if he does something that prohibits you from possessing Kurokocchi again?”

 

“We can’t have that.” Akashi’s eyes widen and he stands from where he’s sitting. He casts one last look at Midorima before turning to Kise. “Where is he?”

 

Kise extends his hand. “Hold on to me, we’d be there in a flash.”

 

The moment Akashi takes Kise’s hand, he feels being sucked into a void. There is a sudden burst of cold wind, and the next thing he knows, they’re in front of a small wooden house. He immediately identifies the statues displayed in front as the old gods of life and death. Akashi lets go of Kise’s hand and tries to step into the house. However, for some odd reason, he can’t.

 

“I can’t go in either. It’s probably enchanted to block out spirits.”

 

“Well, do you think Kurokocchi is still in there?”

 

“We have no way of knowing. Unless there are windows we can look into?”

 

“I already tried before. There are none.”

 

“Then we wait for a while until one of them gets out. If it’s Kuroko, then we follow him. If it’s only the priest you talk about, then it’s safe to assume Kuroko has already gone and is possibly on his way home. If it takes too long, let’s just check every place Kuroko could be in.”

 

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

 

The two sit on the bare ground in front of the house. Akashi has less than twenty-five days left, and he still has to collect two teardrops. It doesn’t seem as if anyone is going to cry for him anytime soon unless he actually dies, so maybe it is time to take matters in his own hands. He starts ticking places to visit in his mind when the door slides open and an old man appears, holding lighted incenses on his hands. He looks around as if sensing something off, before replacing the incenses on the porch.

 

“Too many spirits around, hm?” he mutters before returning inside.

 

Kise and Akashi exchange looks, both wondering if it’s them the old man is referring to.

 

“Kuroko has left, it might seem.”

 

“Back to his house then?”

 

“Take my hand.”

 

“I was wondering why you didn’t tell me you could do this before.”

 

“It’s only usable for emergencies, Akashicchi.”

 

“And those includes incidents related to Kuroko?” he asks as he takes Kise’s hand.

 

“Emergency is relative.” Kise smiles before transporting them back to Kuroko’s place.

 

-

 

Kuroko sits on his bed, holding the sage leaves between his fingers. He’s alone, technically, unless Akashi’s spirit is actually there with him. He clears his throat.

 

“Akashi-kun, are you here?” He looks out for any sign of a reply. “Please show yourself, or do anything, give me a sign if you are here. If you need my help, I’m willing to help you.”

 

The room remained silent. Kuroko suddenly feels silly for calling out to Akashi. Maybe that old man was just playing with him. He stands up and places the sage leaves on the table, taking note of using them for cooking some time.

 

Feeling tired, he lays down on his bed, his arms spread over his head. He knows he heard Kise’s voice that night. He _must_ be around. His heart races at the thought. What would he not give for a chance to see him again? 

 

“Ryouta, are you here?” he whispers, hugging his knees close to his chest, his shoulders shaking. A sob comes from his throat, warm tears falling from his eyes. All this time, he had been alone, knowing he had to live his life without Kise. He never realized that he wanted him back so badly until now that he knows there is a chance. He needs Kise more than ever.“Please. Please be here with me.”

 

-

 

Kise lets out a huge sigh of relief when they arrive back at Kuroko’s place and he sees the man sleeping soundly on his bed. He is afraid he might have gone somewhere else. Akashi, however, looks worried.

 

“He’s already sleeping. My schedule would be messed up.”

 

“You gotta let him rest, Akashicchi,” Kise reminds him as he yawns, stretching his arms up in the air. “And I’m resting, too. Who’s been the one following Kurokocchi around while someone else stares lovingly at their special someone, huh? Yeah, that’s me. Good night.”

 

“Kise.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Thank you.” Akashi smiles at him. “I wouldn’t have been able do these 49 days business without you. Please stick around with me for a little longer.”

 

Kise’s eyes widen in surprise from what he just heard. It all felt so heartfelt that he is thoroughly touched. He can’t help but smile back.

 

“It’s not like I have a choice. Plus, I’d really like to get those memories back. Let’s work hard together, Akashicchi.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Kise waves goodbye, and then he disappears to wherever he stays. Akashi is left alone with his thoughts and a sleeping Kuroko. He already has a plan for tomorrow to start getting those other teardrops, but if Kuroko would be awake during the day, then he can’t act on it at all.

 

He spends the night planning, creating scenarios in his head. Truth be told, he has been distracted the past few days wanting to be with Midorima and all. He has to remind himself that he has a deadline, and if he wants to spend a much longer time with him, he has to reach his goal.

* * *

24 days left

* * *

 

 

By sunrise, Kuroko is still asleep and Akashi is ready to start his day going. He hovers over his sleeping form, waiting for that feeling of possessing him when suddenly, Kuroko turns and murmurs something. Akashi freezes, afraid that his movements will be detected. But even so, given that he is a spirit, he should be invisible to Kuroko. He waits for him to go back to sleep. But then, Kuroko’s eyes open slightly and they stare directly into Akashi’s. 

 

“A-Akashi-kun?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii this is back from the dead haha I'm really sorry for not updating for months! Things have been hella busy, no one warned me senior year in college would be /that/ loaded. Part of my new year's resolution is to update this thing regularly again...maybe once or twice a month, hopefully! I promised people that I will finish this and I really don't want to break that promise. (:3


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

_ By sunrise, Kuroko is still asleep and Akashi is ready to start his day going. He hovers over his sleeping form, waiting for that feeling of possessing him when suddenly, Kuroko turns and murmurs something. Akashi freezes, afraid that his movements will be detected. But even so, given that he is a spirit, he should be invisible to Kuroko. He waits for him to go back to sleep. But then, Kuroko’s eyes open slightly and they stare directly into Akashi’s. _

 

_ “A-Akashi-kun?” _

* * *

 

 

Midorima holds Akashi’s hand between his own, tracing his palm and memorizing the lines as if they would give him some sort of an answer. The steady pulse he feels is the only thing that assures him that Akashi will be back. Not to him, that he’s sure of. But as long as Akashi survives, Midorima doesn’t care at all. 

 

“I will lose you either way.” He laughs quietly, bitter and sad. “But I’d rather you live.”

 

His phone rings. He stands from his seat and pulls his phone out of his pocket. Momoi’s name is displayed on the screen.

 

“Hello?” he says, stepping away from Akashi as though not to disturb him.

 

“Midorin! You’re with Akashi-kun, right?”

 

“Yes. Why?”

 

“Dai-chan and I are on our way there to visit. I bet you haven’t had dinner yet. What would you like? We could buy you one before we go up.”`

 

“Anything would be fine. Thank you.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, don’t worry about it.”

 

“See you in a few then!”

 

Midorima smiles as he presses the End Call button. He’s glad other people are visiting Akashi. He would be happier if Akashi knew about it. Once, Akashi had told him that he’s afraid to be alone. Midorima assured him then that he would never be; not when he has his friends, not when he has him.

 

He hears the doorknob turning and he looks at it in surprise. It’s impossibly fast for Momoi and Aomine to have arrived already. When the door finally opens, his blood runs cold. He finds himself staring eye to eye with Akashi Masaomi. The older man is still in a suit and it doesn’t look like he will be staying for long.

 

“What are you doing here?” Masaomi asks him, but the words didn’t sound like a question at all. He is making him leave.

 

Midorima remains standing where he is even if every bit of him is telling him to back down. “Visiting Seijuurou, as I’ve been told he rarely gets one. In his condition, every support he can get is vital to his recovery.”

 

“Is that your prescription as a doctor? That doesn’t sound scientific at all.”

 

“I’m speaking as his friend.”

 

“I’m under the impression that you aren’t Seijuurou’s anything as of the moment, am I not right?” The words sting because it is true. There is nothing more that Midorima can say. “I thought so. Thank you for visiting my son.”

 

Midorima excuses himself and goes out of the room, his throat constricting. It has been years but Masaomi still has the same effect on him. It didn’t make any difference that he is not anymore the lanky teenager that he was once when he first met Masaomi and that he is now as much as a respectable adult as he is. Masaomi remains to be a wall Midorima still has to overcome in order to be with Akashi.

 

When he gets in the lobby, he bumps into Momoi and Aomine who are surprised to see him.

 

“I thought you were with Akashi?” Aomine asks, giving him the dinner they bought.

 

“Masaomi is up there.” It needed no elaboration. 

 

“Well, I guess we visit Akashi-kun next time instead.”

 

“Tch. What a bother.” Aomine scratches at his head. “Free days don’t happen to me that often, you know?”

 

“How about we visit Tetsu-kun? Midorin, want to come with us?”

 

“He won’t be in the convenience store tonight,” he answers, recalling in mind the schedule Kuroko has told him. “I think it’s his day off.”

 

“Oh, you’ve been talking to him?”

 

“He’s doing part-time in the clinic.”

 

“What?” Aomine snaps, his face contorting into a frown. “You still gave him a job despite his incident last time?” 

 

“I am aware of his condition. We already made an agreement over this that would be most beneficial for him.” Midorima rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly. “I don’t have to explain this to you.”

 

Aomine is about to set on another argument but Momoi places a hand over his arm and shakes her head. “We’ll just have to trust Midorin in this, Dai-chan. I’m sure he wouldn’t compromise Tetsu-kun’s condition.”

 

“Fine,” he grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

“I’m going home now,” Midorima says, covering his yawn with the back of his hand. “I’ll see you around.”

 

They exchange their final farewells and part ways. Midorima has a busy schedule tomorrow, but since Takao is coming back, he’s expecting to have that load lessened considerably. He glances back at the hospital, feeling worried about Masaomi’s presence. He can only hope Masaomi doesn’t make things worse.

 

 

* * *

24 days left

* * *

  
  


 

Kuroko scrambles up from his bed and pulls away from Akashi as far as possible, his back against the wall. Akashi remains frozen on his spot, in shock himself on what just happened. _Kuroko can now see him!_ The two exchange wide-eyed looks.

 

“Akashi-kun…” Kuroko is the first to break the silence, his voice still shaky. “You’re...you’re here.”

 

Akashi composes himself, touching his pendant to make sure it’s still intact. He isn’t any breaking any rules if Kuroko sees him, right? Why is Kise not intervening?

 

“It’s nice seeing you again, Kuroko.”

 

“How? What are you doing here?” Kuroko takes in a sudden breath. “Are you dead?”

 

“No, but I will be if I don’t do something. Kuroko, listen. I need you to help me.”

 

Kuroko slowly detaches himself from the wall, but still he looks warily at him. “You were going to possess me again, are you?”

 

“I do it for a purpose.”

 

“Which is what?”

 

Akashi shakes his head. “I can’t tell what exactly. Doing so will jeopardize everything that I’ve been working for, but if you want to help me, you’d let me possess you still.”

 

“Tell me everything you can, Akashi-kun. I want to help, but I need to understand first.”

 

And so Akashi tells him all that his contract allows him to, about how he fell from grace and how he tried to take his own life, about how he woke up from his body and was given a second chance, about how he works in Midorima’s clinic and that there is an objective he must obtain but it’s only through Kuroko that he can do it. And about how if all fails, he will truly die.

 

“That’s why I’m asking you to let me possess you until I’m able to finish what I need to do. It won’t be for too long now. People are waiting for me.” He clenches his fists. “Shintarou is.”

 

“I will help as much as I can. Not everyone is given a second chance to live.” Kuroko smiles sadly and Akashi knows he has just thought of Kise. “Let’s make sure you don’t waste yours.”

 

Akashi breathes a sigh of relief at how easy Kuroko agreed. He has been afraid Kuroko would push him away, but here he is giving him a fighting chance. Just as always.

 

“Thank you.”

  
-  
  


“Kuroko! How are you?” Takao greets him excitedly when they meet that afternoon. It’s time to exchange shifts and Akashi is just getting prepared to go when he arrived. Ever since he possessed Kuroko with his consent, he felt much better using his body as his own. It made doing his tasks much easier and Midorima even told him he looked more lively.

 

“I’m doing fine, Takao-kun. How was your seminar abroad?”

 

“Ugh.” He rolls his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “It was a complete waste of my time! You know, I shouldn’t have left at all. I thought it’d be fun at the very least. But I guess you won’t be here if I didn’t go, yeah? I’m glad you finally accepted the offer! I mean, who wouldn’t want to leave when Shin-chan is your only co-worker.”

 

“Takao.” Midorima appears behind his office door, glaring at the two of them. “If you have time to complain, why don’t you get to work?”

 

“Roger, sir!”

 

“Kuroko.”

 

“Yes, Midorima-kun?”

 

Midorima’s expression softens. “Go home directly, alright?”

 

“Shin-chan, you’re not his mom.”

 

“I will, Midorima-kun,” Akashi says anyway, “Did you visit Akashi-kun again yesterday?”

 

“Yes, but I had to leave early in the evening. His father came to visit.”

 

“He did what?” Takao exclaims, echoing Akashi’s exact question.  _ His father visited? “ _ What did he do there?”

 

“I don’t know. He made me leave. We were never in good terms, not especially when Akashi and I were a couple.”

 

“And because you two broke up, I bet he told you you don’t have any right to be there, huh, Shin-chan?”

 

“That sums it up.”

 

“Damn.” Takao clucks his tongue. “Akashi Sr. sure is brutal.”

 

“I see. I hope you can visit Akashi-kun on a better time. Thank you for today.” 

 

Akashi leaves in a hurry, his mind already on the task at hand. He originally has other plans for today, but if his father visited yesterday, then he must drop by his home first. He hails a cab and gives the driver the address to the Akashi estate.

 

He arrives there in half an hour and sees the familiar face of the head housekeeper – Mori – at the garden. He strides over to the gate and calls her attention. Mori sees him immediately and approaches him with a motherly smile.

 

“Good afternoon,” he greets, remembering that Mori isn’t familiar with his friends besides Midorima. He mentioned them before, but most of them has only visited once.  “I am a friend of Akashi-kun, Kuroko Tetsuya.”

 

“Oh, I remember you. You’re the boy they kept losing sight of, aren’t you? Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“Yes, actually. We’re doing some sort of a small gathering for Akashi-kun and there are a few things we need from him. Midorima-kun was supposed to get them himself but he said Akashi-kun’s father might not be happy if he sees him around.”

 

Mori laughs nervously. “That is true. Masaomi-san had been in a bad mood since last night, I think he came across Midorima-kun when he went to the hospital. That boy is really good, though? Masaomi-san thinks he’s a bad influence for Seijuurou, but I’ve never seen the young master so happy except when he’s with Midorima-kun.” She lets out a sigh. “Though I’ve heard they ended their relationship just recently. Poor thing, what could have happened? Well, anyway, why don’t you come in?”

 

She lets him in and tells him about how things have changed in the household since Akashi’s attempted suicide. Apparently, his father has been busier with business deals and Akashi can’t help but feel more bitter inside. Even if his son is at the brink of death, he still prioritized the company.

 

Mori accompanies him into his room. It looks as if the room has been untouched ever since he left.

 

“Go on and find what you need. I believe Seijuurou keeps his things in the drawer over there. I’ll just wait for you.”

 

“Thank you, Mori-san.”

 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Her eyes narrow in confusion. “Huh, I haven’t told you my name yet, have I?”

 

“Akashi-kun has mentioned you,” he says immediately, mentally chastising himself for the slip up. “I believe he’s fond of you.”

 

Mori smiles then. “That boy is practically a son to me.”

 

Akashi excuses himself and goes to his drawer, pretending to look for something. He actually didn’t know what to get but he should leave with something, else it’d be suspicious. He settles on taking the photo album he had from middle school and a few more papers. He’s about to leave when he catches sight of the small piano he had in his room. He goes there, gently tracing its edges with his hand.

 

“Mori-san,” he looks at her, asking for permission. “Can I?”

 

“I’m sure Seijuurou wouldn’t mind,” she waves her hand dismissively and Akashi takes a seat. He opens the lid and feels nostalgic seeing the yellowed keys. He hasn’t played for quite some time.

 

He plays something familiar, something he has been playing ever since he started piano lessons as a kid. It feels pretty awkward at first, playing on his piano with Kuroko’s body. Kuroko doesn’t have the fingers of a musician, but Akashi manages to play fluidly. Personally, he’s more attuned to the volin. But the piano is a special instrument for Midorima and him, having experienced many great things together while they played duets. In fact, their first kiss was in front of a grand pia. It was a memory Akashi is always fond to look back to.

 

Just as he is about to reach the last measure, the pendant on his chest warms and he gasps, stopping in middle of his music.  _ His second teardrop. _ When he turns to look at Mori-san, she’s wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.

 

“Mori-san...”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry,” she sniffs and blows her nose, “I just remembered Seijuurou when he was still little. He used to play that very song for his mother. He’s such a sweet darling and to think that he has come to this breaks my heart. I hope he recovers soon.”

 

Akashi smiles, feeling happy and hopeful at the same time. He hasn’t realized this woman who looked after him cared for him this much. He has to remember to give back to her once he wakes up.

 

“I’m sure Akashi-kun will wake up soon, especially if we don’t fail to give him our support.”

 

“Well, enough of this. Ah, I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” She smiles apologetically. “Are you going now?”

 

“Yes, thank you for accompanying me.”

 

Mori leads him downstairs, recounting how Akashi stopped playing that song after his mother’s death. Only when he is in middle school that he played it again. Once downstairs, Akashi remembers the actual purpose of his visit.

 

“Mori-san, how is Akashi-kun’s father coping? I heard from our friends that he has been busier than ever since Akashi-kun was confined.”

  
“That.” Her expression darkens. She looks around her before leaning closer, lowering her voice. “I don’t know if it’s alright to tell you, but I think he believes Seijuurou wouldn’t wake up anymore to inherit the family business, so he’s selling them all one by one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took quite some time! OTL This doesn't contain much, but I think things will start to get fired up by the next chap (:3


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

 

_“Mori-san, how is Akashi-kun’s father coping? I heard from our friends that he has been busier than ever since Akashi-kun was confined.”_

  
_“That.” Her expression darkens. She looks around her before leaning closer, lowering her voice. “I don’t know if it’s alright to tell you, but I think he believes Seijuurou wouldn’t wake up anymore to inherit the family business, so he’s selling them all one by one.”_  

* * *

 

The television blares loudly in the quiet room showing a basketball match. The point guard weaves smoothly between two defenders and then quickly passes the ball to his teammate who then drives and dunks the ball with much vigor. The crowd erupts into a wild cheer, the player who just dunked pumping his fist in the air. Akashi smiles wryly. He recalls those distant days he used to feel that way, too. 

 

“Do you miss it?” Kuroko asks, breaking his line of thought. He glances at him and finds him preparing for his shift in the convenience store. “Basketball.”

 

“Sometimes. When it actually crosses my mind.” He looks at his palms, at the familiar lines Midorima used to trace with his fingers. “I do miss the feeling of the ball on my hand.”

 

“When you wake up, we should arrange a game with the others. I think they’d love to go. It can be a celebration of sorts.”

 

“When I wake up.” Akashi repeats, more to assure himself that he will still come back.

 

The game ends, 88 - 96, the home team winning. 

 

“Are you still going to watch?”

 

“Not anymore.”

 

Kuroko turns off the television. Akashi expects his reflection to appear on the black screen, but of course it does not. It’s been twenty-five days since he has adapted this form, but he still finds himself not used to it.

 

“Akashi-kun, I’ve been meaning to ask,“ Kuroko turns to him, wringing his hands together, “You have seen Ryouta, haven't you?”

 

“What makes you think so?”

 

“I just have a feeling. Besides, that day that I passed out in the convenience store, I heard his voice. Please, Akashi-kun, I just want to know.”

 

Akashi looks around him hoping that he’d see a glimpse of Kise to tell him on how to proceed, but he doesn't see a ghost of his blond hair.

 

“I…I don’t know how much I can say,” he sighs, leaning back on the chair, “But all you should know is that Kise is related in the grand scheme of things that are occurring right now.”

 

“Will I be able to see him later on?”

 

“I can’t assure that.”

 

To his surprise, Kuroko smiles. “At least he’s just around. I thought I was going crazy, hearing him and all.”

 

“You’ve always been optimistic.”

 

Kuroko leaves for work after a while. Akashi is left on his own. He agonizes on his own problem, about how his father is selling their businesses. He can’t let his father continue doing this, or else, he would wake up without anything to inherit. It’s more of their sentimental value, how his father and his father before him have built the Akashi business empire, that he is actually concerned about. He must do something about it. Soon.

 

“Akashicchi.”

 

“Kise!” Akashi turns around at Kise’s voice. He finds him sitting morosely on Kuroko's bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He stands up from his chair and sits closer to Kise. “Where have you been? Kuroko was asking about you earlier.”

 

He only shakes his head in reply.

 

“Is there something…?”

 

“I…I just remembered something. From when I was alive.” Only when he sees Kise’s face up close that he notices his puffy eyes and red nose. “I made a promise and I wasn’t able to keep it.”

 

-

 

It was already two in the morning when Kise arrived at their apartment with a pounding head. He had to take an overtime in his third job for the day, and he is yet to eat dinner. He found Kuroko waiting for him by the kitchen, a worried look on his face.

 

“Have you eaten?” Kuroko asked him as he got himself a glass of water. “There’s food in the fridge. I could heat it up.”

 

“No need.”

 

“You don't look well.”

 

“I’m fine. Just a headache.”

 

“Again? Your headaches have been happening frequently. You should really consider what I told you before — quit one job so you can have enough time to rest —“

 

“Shut it, Tetsuya.” His eyes snapped to him angrily. “We’re not having this conversation again. I’m just doing my best to provide for us, okay? Your job doesn’t even pay much, what choice do I have? If I quit even one of my jobs, where are we going to have to scrape for money?”

 

Kuroko flinched from where he was standing. Kise paid him no mind, massaging his temples to will the pain away.

 

“Is that it?” He said after a while, his voice hoarse. His fists were clenched at his side. “Do you regret being with me now? Am I just dragging you down?”

 

“Don’t be too dramatic,” he replied dismissively. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

 

Frustrated, Kuroko left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Kise remained where he was seated, weaving his hands through his hair.

 

Alright, he had been a jerk, he knew it. But his massive headache was tampering with his thoughts. He should really apologize soon. He drank another glass of water before grabbing a scarf that he wound around his neck, and another one that Kuroko would surely need.

 

There was only one place he would go after such fight. 

 

Kise found him by the playground not far from their place, sitting by the swing on his own. He took a deep breath before walking towards him. He could hear him sniffing as he drew closer.

 

“Tetsuya.”

 

Kuroko didn’t acknowledge him.

 

“Kurokocchi,” Kise tried again, kneeling before him, “Please. I’m sorry. I said very harsh things earlier, I know. But, I didn’t mean them at all. Well, the fact that they were on my mind is something I can't deny…but you’re wrong. I don’t regret a moment I chose to be with you. No matter the hardships, I can take it as long as we’re together.” Kuroko finally raised his eyes to meet his, and they were filled with tears. “And no, you’re not bringing me down. All this time, you’ve been the reason why I can keep going.”

 

“I’m sorry, too,” Kuroko took his hand, interlocking their fingers together, “I know it’s been hard for the both of us. But you’re still with me.”

 

“Why would I leave you?” Kise smiled, reaching for Kuroko’s cheek and wiping his tears away with his thumb. “You can punch me in the face if I do. I promise.”

 

Kuroko laughed then, and he threw his arms around Kise, burying his face on the wool of Kise's scarf. “I’m pretty sure the time wouldn’t come that it would happen, Ryouta.”

 

* * *

23 days left

* * *

 

 

 

Takao looks over Midorima’s shoulder, peering into his laptop screen. There aren't any clients around and Midorima is checking some business-oriented website for god knows what reason. Midorima has never been interested in things like these before even if his boyfriend is the heir to one of the biggest business empires in Japan.

 

“What’s the matter, Shin-chan? Are you venturing into business now?”

 

“No, I’m…looking for something,” he replies distractedly. “Ah...Found it.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Midorima clicks on a company name and a window appears, containing basic information and statistics.

 

“This is a small food chain business the Akashi family owns…well, used to. This website here says it’s already owned by the Miyamoto Group.”

 

“Whoa. They sold it?”

 

Midorima scrolls through the page and clicks on more companies. “And other businesses, too.”

 

“Why? Are they going bankrupt?”

 

“No, they’re not. So I don’t know the need to sell these shares.” Midorima leans back on his chair, his forehead creasing into a frown.

 

“Why did you even check that? Did you have some spidey senses that told you Akashi Sr. is selling their small businesses to others?”

 

“It was Kuroko who asked me to check on the status of the Akashi businesses. Said he’s heard some things that might be worrisome.”

 

“Kuroko, huh.” Takao sits on the chair opposite Midorima and leans his arm on the table, resting his chin on his hand. “You know, I’m quite bothered by him recently. Have you noticed anything different?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don't know…he seems less unnoticeable as before. He's got this different air around him. Not quite Kuroko-like.”

 

Midorima thinks over the past few weeks that he has interacted with Kuroko. He did seem to be standing out a bit, and there was that time when he snapped at him, telling Midorima he didn't want his pity. It was weird, but understandable.

 

“Well, if there’s a change in Kuroko, it's that he’s not as depressed as before. You know how he had been ever since Kise died.”

 

“Two years is a pretty long time to move on from someone.”

 

Midorima knows that all too well.

 

“Then Kuroko must have loved him very much.”

 

-

 

The lobby of the main office seems like a different world to Akashi now. In the guise of Kuroko, he decides to visit to find out more about the company selling Mori had told him. Several people in suits have passed him by but they barely gave him attention. If he is Akashi, everyone would be greeting him left and right. He supposes it's more convenient now.

 

He walks around a bit, taking advantage of Kuroko’s tendency to be ignored, and starts looking for a familiar face. Around this time, his father would be going down from his office on the eighth floor. He has already asked Midorima to look into the current state of the businesses, but he wants to know it first hand. 

 

In about ten minutes, he sees his father coming out from the elevator with a close associate beside him. Akashi stands from where he's seating and waits by the door, facing away. 

 

“Is it really a wise choice to sell your stocks, Akashi-san?”

 

The two stops just in front of the glass doors, waiting for the car. Akashi draws closer.

 

“Seijuurou won't wake up anymore,” his father says with finality. “There is only so much pain that boy can handle, I now realize that. I’m only finishing up everything with the selling of the businesses, but one of these days, I’d have his life support removed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies again for the slow updates ;A; Graduation is just around the corner aaand the real world is beckoning aaAH


	9. Chapter 9

“Akashi-kun?” Kuroko’s seemingly bothered guest pays him no mind. Akashi’s eyes remain glued to the TV screen, but his attention is obviously elsewhere. He tries again. “Akashi-kun.”

 

Akashi hears him this time, and he turns to acknowledge him. “Is there something you need?”

 

“I was wondering if you have something in mind that you’d want to share.”

 

Akashi recalls the words he heard his father say. He thinks of telling it to Kuroko, but what can he do? If he knows that there is a possibility that his life support would be removed in the immediate future, he would no doubt tell the others. And even if the others did know, once his father has decided on something, he would see to it that it happens. Besides, he didn’t want to burden Kuroko even more.

 

“It’s nothing,” he finally says, smiling. “I’m just thinking of ways on how to fulfill my objective.”

 

Kuroko looks at him but decided not to inquire further. He can feel that Akashi is holding something back. “I’ll be going now.”

 

“Take care.”

 

“You, too.” Kuroko wounds a scarf around his neck and finallly leaves for work. He knows he agreed to help Akashi for his second chance at life, but it could be really hard when he hardly knows a thing about the conditions that surround that mission. He wanted to do more besides being possessed; he doesn’t feel like he’s helping enough. 

 

Time is running out.

 

-

 

Upon getting on the bus, Kuroko immediately sees a familiar face.

 

“Kuroko!” Takao raises his hand and calls him over, a big smile on his face. “Sit with me!”

 

Kuroko smiles poiltely and takes the empty space next to him. Akashi has mentioned that Takao works with them in Midorima’s clinic. He should choose his words carefully. He doesn’t know a single thing about what happens in there.

 

“Takao-kun, how come you’re out this late at night?”

 

“Oh, some college friends decided to hang out. Karaoke night and stuff.” He grins. “You’re on your way to your other job?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Takao shifts on his seat and faces him, his expression turning softer. “You know we haven’t really talked even in the clinic. Shin-chan is always so strict with tasks. But since we’re here, we might as well catch up, right?”

 

Kuroko knows all too well where this conversation would lead, but for the sake of their friendship, he nods. “That’s a good idea. Tell me more about your time abroad?”

 

“Terrible.” Takao rolls his eyes, and gets on a long account of his short stay overseas. Kuroko took comfort in listening glad that he’s not the one doing it. He tries not to talk much since he might say something that could jeopardize Akashi.

 

Just as they are nearing Kuroko’s station, Takao suddenly adopts a serious tone.

 

“Actually, Kuroko, I’ve been meaning to ask-” Kuroko knows he’s going to say it sooner or later, “How are you holding up? Losing Kise took a toll on you so much I can’t imagine how hard it must have been. But you are looking better now, though, compared to last time.”

 

Kuroko breathes deeply and trains his eyes outside the passing lights of the street.His eyes are starting to feel warm.

"I'm doing fine, I guess. My job keeps me distracted. Midorima-kun is kind enough to take me in as well. I have friends who are still supporting me even if I tried to push them away before." He clenches his fist together. "But I still miss Ryouta."  _ Don't cry. _ "Very much."

 

His tears start to fall.

 

“Shit.” Takao hurriedly fumbles for the handkerchief in his pocket and offers it to Kuroko. He didn’t foresee this reaction of his and he is feeling really bad. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

 

Kuroko shakes his head, gratefully taking the handkerchief and wiping his eyes. It takes him a while before he finally gathers himself. “It’s me who should be sorry crying to you like this. It’s been some years after all, I should have been over the grief.”

 

“No, it’s totally fine to still feel sad about it.”

 

It was a bad idea to get into this conversation.

 

“Takao-kun, I’m almost at my destination.” He stands from his seat, eager to get away. “I’ll see you next time.”

 

“Tomorrow, you mean?”

 

“Right. Have fun tonight.”

 

The bus comes to a stop and Kuroko hurriedly gets off, Takao’s handkerchief still on his hands. It was a bit embarrassing to be crying in front of somebody. The last time he did so was when the news about Kise’s demise reached him. He was with Aomine and Momoi that time, no one could have prepared him for it. After that, he had managed to keep his emotions in check when people were around, even when they were consoling him throughout Kise’s wake. Only when he was truly alone that he cried all that he can. His eyes always seemed to have tears to shed.

 

Breathing deeply, he goes to work.

* * *

22 days left

* * *

 

“Midorima-kun,” Akashi walks up to Midorima when his latest client walks out of the door, “Have you had any news about the Akashi family?”

 

Midorima looks at him thoughtfully. “Well, I did check on the stocks yesterday and it seemed that they are selling their smaller business one by one. As to why, I have no idea.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“No. Why?”

 

“I...I just have a feeling.” Akashi knows he can’t tell Midorima about his life support being removed soon. He would definitely ask how come he had the information about it, and he won’t be able to explain without telling him why he was at the main office. He can’t just say that he cares about Akashi too much that he went there. Midorima would think it unusual. He’ll just have to guide him towards the answers. “Maybe ask around?”

 

“I’ll try.” Midorima finds it weird that Kuroko has been asking about Akashi’s welfare the past few days, but he dismisses it as a friendly concern. Kuroko is someone who treasures his friends well, after all. Maybe it is the fact that Kuroko seems to be caring more about Akashi than he is gives him an uneasy feeling. “I’ll check later.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

An hour before Akashi’s shift ends, Takao comes in. Upon seeing him, Takao’s eyes widen and immediately walks over to him.

 

“Kuroko, I’m really, really, really sorry about last night.”

 

_ Last night? _ Akashi tries to hide his surprise. Kuroko didn’t tell him anything about what happened last night.

 

“Why?” It is Midorima who asks. “What happened?”

 

“Well,” Takao scratches at the back of his head and smiles apologetically, “Kuroko and I came across each other at the bus and talked. And I kinda made him cry.”

 

“What?” Midorima stands up from his seat. Luckily, there aren’t any clients at the moment so no one else has to see his freaked out expression. “Takao!”

 

“I didn’t mean it! I asked how he was and...”

 

“I remembered Ryouta,” Akashi says in a low voice. He has by now a vague idea of what happened. He should really remind Kuroko to tell him important things like this. He looks at Takao then. “It’s fine. Please forget about it.”

 

“I thought I pissed you off or something.” Takao sighs in relief. “You just got off the bus and all.”

 

“That was insensitive of you, Takao,” Midorima scolds him, pushing his glasses up.

 

“I know. I know.” He raises his hands up as if surrendering. “Learned my lesson. Hey, Kuroko, since I’m here now, you should get going and rest early.”

 

“Now that’s a good idea,” Midorima agrees. “Go home now and rest.”

 

“Thank you for your consideration.”

 

-

 

“I wasn’t ready at all!” Takao has been telling Midorima more of what occurred last night between him and Kuroko, and has just got to the part where Kuroko is about to cry. “I mean, he looked fine and all when I was talking. So I thought it’d be alright to ask him about how he was holding up. It was him who mentioned Kise. And then he just cried.”

 

“You should have known better not to get into that topic.” Midorima shakes his head as he is checking his schedule. There are no pending appointments for the rest of the afternoon. “It took him very long to remove himself from the deep end of his grief, but it doesn’t mean that he’s ready to talk about it.”

 

Takao hums thoughtfully. “He seemed different last night, though. He’s more...him. Whenever he’s in the clinic he feels like...something else.”

 

“You said that too last time.”

 

“I know. I just noticed more difference last night. Weird.”

 

“In any case,” Midorima closes his planner and stands from his seat, “We’re going early. There’s some place we need to be.”

 

“Where?”

 

-

 

Midorima drives the two of them to the Akashi estate. Midorima immediately sees Mori from the gate, and when Mori sees him, her face breaks into a big, warm smile.

 

“Midorima-kun!” She rushes over to the gate and ushers them in. “It’s so nice of you to visit. I’ve heard about your last visit in the hospital. Don’t worry, Masaomi-san isn’t around, luckily for you. ”

 

Midorima lets out a small laugh. “That’s good to hear. I’ve brought a friend with me.”

 

Takao smiles at the housekeeper. “Good afternoon!”

 

“Come inside, the both of you. I can prepare some snacks.”

 

Takao is about to walk to the house when Midorima stops him and looks at him pointedly. He retreats behind.

 

“Actually,” Midorima turns to Mori once again, “We’re just passing by. I wanted to ask about Seijuurou since I’m not able to visit him the past few days.”

 

“Still the same the last time I heard. And have you heard about the selling of some companies?”

 

“Yes, I did. I actually checked on it yesterday. Do you know why?”

 

“I think Masaomi believes Seijuurou wouldn’t wake up anymore.” Mori’s face turns ashen with worry. “In fact, I told your friend about it, too. He was here the other day.”

 

“Who?” 

 

“What’s his name again...”

 

“Is it Kuroko?” Takao suggests out of nowhere.

 

“Yes, that’s it!” Mori snaps her fingers in recollection. “He said you were all preparing for a small gathering for Seijuurou. He went to get some things he needed in Seijuurou’s room.”

 

Midorima and Takao exchange looks. 

 

“Is that all he did here?”

 

“Oh, he played the piano.” Mori smiles at the memory. “It was the same song Seijuurou played when he was a kid. Though that boy was not as good as Seijuurou, but hearing it again made my heart warm.”

 

“Kuroko played the piano?” Takao mutters quietly. Mori fails to hear it, but Midorima does, and he has the same question.

 

“Please, if you could do something to convince Masaomi of Seijuurou’s condition, do it.”

 

“We will, Mori-san.” Midorima assures her. “Thank you for telling us.”

 

“And Midorima-kun,” Mori takes both of his hands, “When Seijuurou wakes up, return to him, alright? That boy loves you very much.”

 

“I promise.” Midorima loves him all the same.

 

-

 

Kuroko tries not to be bothered by Akashi’s presence beside him on the bus, but Akashi insisted that he accompany Kuroko now everytime he goes to his job at the convenience store. Apparently, Takao still brought up the topic of their meeting last night. Akashi wants to avoid any more mistakes.

 

“I need to know who you meet, and who you talk to,” he has told him.

 

When they get off the bus, there are a handful of people around. Kuroko buries his chin on his scarf.

 

“Is Ryouta alright?” he asks under his breath.

 

Akashi hears him well. “Last time I saw him, he was. Well, as fine as he could be. He remembered something from your past. Something about hurting you.”

 

“Was that when we fought over our jobs?”

 

“That one.”

 

Kuroko smiles sadly. “It was one of our biggest fights. But it was also among the many things that made us stronger. He told me I could punch him in the face if he leaves me.”

 

Kuroko falls silent. Akashi feels like Kuroko could tear up again at any moment.

 

“When you finally see him, do that.” Akashi says, trying to brighten up the mood.

 

To his relief, Kuroko lets out a chuckle. “I’m planning to.”

* * *

21 days left

* * *

 

The sun has already risen when Kuroko and Akashi arrive back at the apartment. There are two more hours before Akashi is to possess Kuroko again. They eat breakfast together, or more like, Kuroko eats his breakfast while Akashi watches him thoughtfully.

 

He has three weeks left. Since he only has one teardrop to collect, it feels like a lot of time. But Akashi is starting to feel the link between him and Kuroko weaken. Kise has warned him about this before, that when the time draws near, his connection with his host body would weaken. Thus, he will have a harder time using the body to look for a teardrop. He must act soon.

 

Kuroko cleans up before going to bed, and as soon as he falls into slumber, Akashi possesses him. The moment he opens his eyes through Kuroko’s body, Kise appears by the doorway.

 

“I almost thought I’m not going to see you today,” Akashi remarks, standing up from the bed.

 

“I’m busy going around,” he answers vaguely. “By the way, there’s something you should know.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Midorimacchi is waiting outside.”

 

Akashi’s eyes widen in surprise. He hurriedly peeks through the window. He does see Midorima’s car parked in front of his apartment building.

 

“What is he doing here?”

 

“Picking you up?”

 

Akashi shakes his head. “He won’t be here without a reason.”

 

“You don’t think he suspects your identity, right?” Kise stands beside him and also peeks through the window. “Remember, if you tell someone about you, your pendant shatters and you lose your chance of waking up.”

 

“Let’s just assume he’s here for Kuroko. As he should be.”

 

Kise narrows his eyes. “Not for anything special, I hope. Kurokocchi is mine.”

 

Kise decides to accompany Akashi that day. Midorima gets out from his car the moment they step off the apartment building. Midorima looks at Akashi carefully, as if sizing him up. Akashi starts to feel uneasy.

 

“Good morning, Midorima-kun,” he greets. “What brings you here? It’s a bit early, don’t you think?”

 

It takes a while before Midorima replies. 

 

“Kuroko,” something in his voice raises Akashi’s alarm, “Can you come with me for a while?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Sorry for the slow updates OTL Last time I was preparing for graduation, and now I have a job OTL And it has more load than when I was studying ;; Hopefully I can have time to write...maybe weekends! But yeah, updates would still be slow I am so sorry ;;; I hope this update is quite enough to pick things up! Thanks for the feedback and recs! :')


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

_Kise decides to accompany Akashi that day. Midorima gets out from his car the moment they step off the apartment building. Midorima looks at Akashi carefully, as if sizing him up. Akashi starts to feel uneasy._

_“Good morning, Midorima-kun,” he greets. “What brings you here? It’s a bit early, don’t you think?”_

_It takes a while before Midorima replies._

_“Kuroko,” something in his voice raises Akashi’s alarm, “Can you come with me for a while?”_

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

22 days left

* * *

 

 

Kise had spent the past few days preparing. For what exactly, he’s afraid to admit. And so, he’s been wandering around without telling Akashi about his business. Not that he cares, but still, Akashi likes to know everything.

 

He’d been visiting people he used to know, especially the ones closest to him and Kuroko. The past few days, he was with Momoi who has been busy for it was the last week of the semester. He followed her around knowing she can’t see him but wishing she can anyway. It was sad being dead with only Akashi to talk to.

 

“You’ve always been the nicest to us,” Kise had said to her absentmindedly. Momoi continued on checking papers, unaware of the nostalgic spirit beside her. Momoi had been there since day one, even before Kise realized that his admiration for Kuroko was already beyond simple respect. She always knew, somehow. She always had an extra sense for that.

 

It was past lunchtime when the door to Momoi’s faculty opened and Aomine peered through the door, his uniform slung over his shoulder. Kise and Momoi looked at him at the same time.

 

“Dai-chan,” Momoi smiled but makes no motion to stand. It must be a regular occurrence for Aomine to drop in. “You’ve eaten?”

 

“I haven’t because I know you haven’t eaten as well.” Aomine craned his head, motioning her to go outside. “Come on.”

 

“I’m busy.”

 

“Kagami is waiting as well.”

 

“Fine.” Momoi caved in and arranged her desk. “I’m blaming you if I don’t get to finish checking these papers today.”

 

“I’ll help you if you want.”

 

“Right. Because you’re so reliable in academe matters.”

 

They stepped out of the office and Kise lagged behind. There was really no reason to stay, but he hasn’t heard from them for a long time. His memories aren’t still complete, and he wanted to know more about these two friends of his.

 

“Kagami will gladly help, I’m sure,” Aomine says with a coy smile.

 

“Stop teasing us!” Momoi almost squealed at him, pinching him at his side. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink, though. “He gets uncomfortable easily.”

 

 _ _Kagami and Momoi?__  Kise didn’t have any recollection of the two being that close to warrant romance.

 

“Yeah?” Aomine crossed his arms and huffed. “He should get used to it since he decided to date you of all people. I’ll always be around.”

 

“You’re not my dad,” she rolled her eyes. “Besides, stop hanging around here. You should really attend to your own life and happiness.”

 

There was a sudden shift in the mood, and Kise noticed that Aomine’s shoulders seemed to slump a little.

 

“About that-”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Momoi smiles comfortingly, “You’re the most patient man I know.”

 

Something unspoken seemed to pass between the two of them that Kise didn’t have any access to. He followed them still, hoping they would continue the conversation they were having but the two have gone quiet. Aomine seemed to be deep in thought, and Momoi was kind enough to give him the silence to think.

 

Thinking there woudl be nothing else to get from them, Kise decided to go away. He was about to disappear when Aomine spoke again.

 

“Tetsu.”

 

Kise stopped as the name left Aomine’s lips. A flash of memories bombarded Kise’s mind, brief pictures of middle school when they were on the same team, scenes from the times they all spent together. He can see Kuroko, and Aomine’s voice rose above it all.

 

 _ _Tetsu.__  Of course.

 

His brief recollection made him fall behind, and he ran to catch up with the two.

 

“I’m really not waiting for him, I guess” Aomine was continuing as Kise reached them. “I know it’s almost impossible to open his heart again after Kise. But I don’t want to not be there when the time comes that he needs someone. I’ve been his closest friend all these years, after all.”

 

“Yeah, I understand that. But you still haven’t made up since last time.”

 

Aomine scratched his head. “That’ll come naturally.”

 

“And that is why you never had the chance with him.” Momoi shook her head. “You’re always running away from the talk. Where did all your bravado go?”

 

“Satsuki. You know it’s different with Tetsu. I can’t just barrel my way in like I usually do. Even if he doesn’t say it, I know Kise is still in his heart. Besides, he’s too important. I don’t want to lose him just because of this stupid…thing.”

 

Kise stopped following them at this point. The two haven’t stopped talking, and they must still be talking about Kuroko. Kise has heard enough, and he was relieved with what he heard.

 

He reappeared in the playground, and since the sun is at its peak, it’s empty except for him. He sat on one of the swings and lightly pushed his feet of the ground. Whenever he’d like to think on his own, he goes back here. Sentimental value. It had been a witness to many memorable experiences he have shared with Kuroko.

 

One of those was their first kiss which he had to ask for permission before he was able to do it. Kuroko was really surprised at that time, but he did allow him. They’ve been dating for three months already, and Kise had long since wanted to kiss him but he’d never had the guts to. Kise had kissed other people before, sure, but he wanted his first one with Kuroko to be different and memorable.

 

First kisses are overrated, really. Kise knew that. But the moment their lips awkwardly touched, his chest felt like it was going to explode and a warm feeling blossomed from there. At that moment, Kise already knew that his relationship with Kuroko will be completely different from his previous ones.

 

And it sure had been. They’ve gone through several fights, from the smallest thing to more serious ones. They’ve also been with each other through important milestones in their lives. It almost felt like living a married life. He had planned it all.

 

He was actually saving up so they can move to a bigger place that they can call their own. He also wanted to help Kuroko fund his graduate studies, since Kuroko has mentioned it a few times before. He wanted to secure them for the years to come. Kise had wholly decided that Kuroko is the person he is going to be with for the rest of life.

 

Unfortunately, the rest of his life wasn’t long enough. It got cut short, and he wasn’t even halfway through his plans. But Kuroko, he had so much more to live.

 

And Kise would make sure Kuroko would live happily.

 

* * *

21 days left

* * *

 

 

Akashi had had many experiences where he sits inside a moving vehicle while he is on the way to a very important, and probably life-changing moments. There were championships, interviews, business deals, and all sorts of things. Akashi never felt nervous or worried at those times. However, this certain car ride with Midorima has been making him uneasy ever since he has seen Midorima outside Kuroko’s place waiting for him. To think that he personally went there way too early in the morning, there must be something important happening right at the moment that he isn’t aware of. And it definitely doesn’t concern the clinic.

 

Kise, on his part, has been very quiet as well. He didn’t seem to be himself ever since he appeared that morning. He probably had his own worries. And now, this thing with Midorima is added on to the pile. For Kise to be completely silent, he must be terribly serious. Can Akashi blame him, though? If Akashi is forced into revealing who he really is, Kise misses the chance to tie the loose ends that is keeping him from moving on to the other realm.

 

After a while, Akashi realizes they are on their way to the hospital.

 

“We’re visiting Akashi-kun?” he asks, trying to break the really uncomfortable and tension-filled silence.

 

“Not exactly,” Midorima answers. “I was hoping we could talk.”

 

“Why can’t it wait until later?”

 

“It’s not really work-related. And aside from the clinic, I can’t think of any other place.” He finally finds a parking spot. “The proximity to Akashi can help me think clearer.”

 

“He knows something,” Kise comments as soon as Midorima steps out of the car. “I can feel it. Akashicchi, you have to make sure your pendant stays intact. Don’t say anything that could lead him into realizing who you really are.”

 

“I know that already. Just stay close, and warn me if what I’m saying is already out of boundaries.” Akashi breathes deeply and mutters, reassuring himself, “I am Kuroko Tetsuya.”

 

He steps out and follows a waiting Midorima.

 

-

 

“You told me to ask around last time about the Akashi family, didn’t you?” Midorima starts as soon as they enter Akashi’s room. Masaomi is not around, which was fortunate them. Kise takes his place on the foot of Akashi’s bed and pays attention to the two.

 

“Did you find out anything?”

 

“The life support. They’re planning to remove it soon.”

 

Akashi tries to feign his surprise, but hearing it again from Midorima relived the hurt. The pain that crosses his face couldn’t have been any realer.

 

“Why?” He manages to say, even if he already knew the answer.

  
“He has already given up on Seijuurou. Of all the people that should be supporting him, you'd think his father should be the last one to give up." The moment those words left Midorima's lips, his shoulders sagged and he leans back against the wall, as if someone had sucked the life out of him. He stares directly up to the lights, and there Akashi realizes Midorima is trying not to cry. "Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is at the brink of giving up on him, and I don't want Seijuurou to feel that. Or else he will give up as well."  
  
"You're not alone." Akashi smiles as Kuroko, trying his best not to jump on Midorima to hug him then and there. "The others haven’t. __I__  haven't given up on Akashi-kun."  
  
"I see that,” Midorima looks at him, “And thank you for it.” 

 

”Should we let the others know?”

 

“Akashi wouldn’t like it.” He’s correct. Everyone will just worry without knowing what to do. He doesn’t want to burden anyone that way. “But Takao was with me yesterday when I found out. He probably has told Momoi already.”

 

“I don’t think we can do anything about that now.”

 

“Did you know that the situation is like this?”

 

Akashi shakes his head. “I had no idea. I just had a bad feeling about Akashi-kun.”

 

“There’s actually another thing, Kuroko.” Midorima shifts on his heels and stands up straighter. “I went yesterday to their estate and Mori-san said you visited before."

  
  
Akashi's hand moves in reflex, closing in on his pendant. Still intact. Midorima doesn't miss the motion. 

 

“Akashicchi,” Kise calls for his attention, “Just one slip and it’s over.”

 

__I know that._ _

  
  
"Yes, I was there. It was over a week ago." There is no point denying it. "I wanted to check on some things."

 

“You didn’t hear about the life support there?”

 

“No. At that time, I only heard about the businesses.”

  
  
"I never knew you can play the piano, Kuroko."

  
  
Akashi's hold tightens around his pendant. He provides no reply. Kise is already at the edge of the bed, and if he had a beating heart it would be pounding like crazy right now.

  
  
"Mori-san also told me," Midorima continues, "You played Seijuurou's favorite piece as a child.”

 

“It’s not much playing,” Akashi finally answers, “Anyone can press the proper keys if they know where the C is located.”

 

“Not anyone can play Waltz of the Flowers.”

 

“It’s a popular piece.”

 

Midorima eyes him scrutinizingly.

  
“Takao had been telling me that something is different with you. I didn’t notice before but now…I see you, Kuroko, in front of me, but you are not the Kuroko I know. You have changed.” Akashi’s grip on the pendant couldn’t be any tighter. Midorima steps closer, yet he is frozen on his spot. “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Kuroko Tetsuya, of course,” Akashi tries to laugh it off but it didn’t sound convincing at all. God knows how long he has wanted to tell Midorima who he really is. “What kind of question is that, Midorima-kun?”

 

“I think you’re lying.” Midorima’s eyes go to Akashi’s clenched fists. “It’s impossible, and it could be wishful thinking. But if I really think about it: the way you move, the way you talk, the way you put your words together, I would know it anywhere.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Akashi takes a step back, but Midorima holds him by his wrist.

 

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

 

Akashi’s eyes flicker to Kise and he sees him shaking his head frantically. He can’t probably interfere, and Akashi has to deal with this somehow on his own.But how can he do it if he is torn between keeping his identity a secret, and putting his arms around Midorima when they haven’t been this close for the longest time?

 

It’s a stupid question to ask. A brief moment with Midorima will never be more worth it than another chance at life to spend with him.

 

“Seijuurou.”

 

Akashi makes the mistake of looking back at Midorima at the sound of his name. The pendant on his palms started to burn. That is not a good sign. “It’s you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been more than five months since the last update. You wouldn't believe how much had happened during that five months, but that was no excuse to not update for a long time T_T I did promise ao3 user Helkavana that I will update before 2016 ends, but here we are, 6 days late. Thank you to those who are waiting, and I fully understand if you've forgotten about this already. I'm really really really slow on updates but I will definitely finish this. I already have an ending in mind, it's just the middle parts that must be filled. I hope this is enough for now(I feel it's not)


	11. Chapter 11

 

* * *

22 days left

* * *

 

_“Is that all he did here?”_

_“Oh, he played the piano.” Mori smiles at the memory. “It was the same song Seijuurou played when he was a kid. Though that boy was not as good as Seijuurou, but hearing it again made my heart warm.”_

_“Kuroko played the piano?” Takao mutters quietly. Mori fails to hear it, but Midorima does, and he has the same question._

 

It’s early evening and normally, he should be back in his place at this time reading up on medicinal articles and resting. However, the things he heard from Mori-san needed to be attended as soon as possible. He let Takao go away, telling him he’s done for the day. But Midorima really had another objective in mind.

 

He doesn’t usually believe in the supernatural, but he can’t think of any other logical explanation for what he discovered upon visiting the estate.

 

 _Kuroko playing the piano?_ There is a small probability that he can. However, the fact that Kuroko played Akashi’s favorite piece as a child seemed to be astronomically improbable already. __Unless…__

 

Midorima shakes his head. It will not help to think too far and land in false hopes. He must know the answers first. He asked around, and apparently, there is somewhere he can start with. He finds himself in front of a rundown house that looks like it hasn’t been maintained in years. A statue of famous mythological gods adorned the entrance.

 

“Hello?” Midorima calls out.

 

Not long after, the wooden door slides open, and an old man appears.

 

“Good evening,” Midorima bows, “Are you Mizutarou-san?”

 

“I am.” He takes one look at him and smiles knowingly. “Why don’t you come inside, boy? You seem to be full of worries and questions.”

 

Mizutarou goes back inside without waiting for a reply. Midorima follows immediately. They said this old man can talk to spirits and knows the most about the world beyond. If there’s anywhere he can find some answers to his questions, this person should have it.

 

Upon stepping inside, Midorima’s senses are bombarded by the smell of incense. No windows are open, and so the burning scent is stuffed inside the small dwelling.Midorima closes his eyes for a moment to gather his bearings. When he opens them again, Mizutarou is just a few centimeters away from him, reaching out towards his head.

 

“Whoa,” Midorima takes a step back in surprise. “What are you doing?”

 

“Hair.” He opens his palms near his face. “If you want answers, I need a hair.”

 

Midorima finds the request odd, but he obediently plucks out a single strand of his hair and gives it to Mizutarou. The old man takes it and brings his palms together in one loud clap. He starts muttering some kind of a prayer as he made his way behind what seemed to be an altar.

 

“What have you come to know about?”

 

“Spirits.” Midorima sits in front of Mizutarou. “They can possess a human body, can’t they?”

 

“Not all kinds have the ability to do so. Those who can are the spirits who have a purpose. Malevolent spirits? They want to wreak havoc and cause destruction. Their anger and violence gives them enough strength to possess beings in this world.”

 

“And the not violent ones?”

 

“Their purpose differs individually. But the general idea is that they’re here to accomplish an unfinished business.” Mizutarou holds the strand of Midorima’s hair over an incense and lets it burn. “However, young man, the spirit that you’re concerned about doesn’t appear to be dead yet. Isn’t that right?”

 

“Not yet,” Midorima answers, “But he is half-dead. Comatose.”

 

“Ah. That kind.” The hair strand has completely turned to ashes. “A wandering spirit without a body to go to.”

 

“Can they also possess living bodies?”

 

“They definitely can, especially if it’s not their time yet.”

 

“What do you mean _not their time_?”

 

“People’s lives are predestined, no matter how young people nowadays say that their destiny is in their own hands. You might fool yourself into thinking you alone influence what happens to your life and you get to decide when these things will happen, but all of these are already marked in some calendar no humans can interfere with. When you get born, when you get to achieve your life’s milestones, when you get to die…all of those are already scheduled.

 

“There are some people, however, that forces their way out of that schedule and in turn, they become stuck in between being dead and being alive. No one knows how long they can stay there, but there are two things that you must know. One, they need to achieve something. Two, they won’t be stuck in that ambiguity for a long time.”

 

_Akashi needs to achieve something, and he is running out of time._

 

“And, what happens if they run out of time?”

 

“They die, of course.”

  

* * *

 

 21 days left

* * *

 

_“It’s you, isn’t it?”_

_Akashi’s eyes flicker to Kise and he sees him shaking his head frantically. He can’t probably interfere, and Akashi has to deal with this somehow on his own.But how can he do it if he is torn between keeping his identity a secret, and putting his arms around Midorima when they haven’t been this close for the longest time?_

_It’s a stupid question to ask. A brief moment with Midorima will never be more worth it than another chance at life to spend with him._

_“Seijuurou.”_

_Akashi makes the mistake of looking back at Midorima at the sound of his name. The pendant on his palms started to burn. That is not a good sign. “It’s you.”_

 

 

“Seijuurou.” Kuroko turns to face him, and at that moment, Midorima can never be more sure he’s right. “It’s you.”

 

Kuroko is silent for a long time, the only noise in the room coming from the machines that are keeping Akashi alive and their own breathing. There is an intensity in the air Midorima can’t quite place.

 

“Let go of me,” Kuroko finally speaks again, but this time, it sends a cold shiver down Midorima’s spine. Their eyes haven’t broken contact yet, but it suddenly feels like he’s looking at someone else. Someone familiar.

 

Midorima does as what he is told, and Kuroko steps away from him. His hands are still holding his pendant. Kuroko closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he does, he lets his hands drop to his side.

 

“Midorima-kun,” the usual Kuroko is back, the air of cold authority suddenly disappearing in a flash. “I know you’re worried about Akashi-kun, and there’s nothing more you would wish for at this moment but him waking up, but it’s not good to get caught up in ideas that will only give you false hope. Maybe, you just miss him too much that you think you’re seeing him in everyone around you.

 

“But Akashi-kun is right here in this room, and he needs you at your best. He needs you to be with him, and not looking anywhere else.” Kuroko turns his back on him and starts leaving for the door, but he stops just before he opens it. “He needs you more than ever.”

 

And then he finally leaves.

 

Midorima feels as if all the strength he had has left him. He slumps on one of the chairs, putting his arms over his head in frustration. His conclusion hasn’t changed. Kuroko is Akashi, somehow. Why wouldn’t he admit to it? Is it that hard to say either yes or no?

 

He breathes deeply and tries to calm his mind. This is Akashi who he is dealing with. If there’s something that Akashi is or is not doing, it always comes with a reason. He just has to figure out what reason exactly it is.

 

His words come back to him. _He needs you more than ever._

 

It’s a call of help from Akashi himself.

 

-

 

Akashi locks the washroom door behind him and leans against it trying to catch his breath. He touches his pendant again: it’s not burning anymore. Kise appears in front of him looking equally distressed.

 

“What happened to the pendant?” Akashi immediately asks him. “Why did it seem to burn earlier?”

 

“It sensed that you wanted to say or do something that will reveal who you are.” Kise shakes his head. “You can’t hide from it. I told you, one wrong move and it would all been over.”

 

“He was so sure about me, Kise. He already knows the answers to his questions. Shintarou was just confirming his thoughts earlier. I had nothing to do with that.”

 

 _The way you move, the way you talk, the way you put your words together, I would know it anywhere._ The words keep on repeating like a song inside his head, and it is probably one of the best things he has heard in a while.

 

“Well, if he knew about you without you saying it, I guess your pendant should still be safe.”

 

“He knows about me,” Akashi repeats, and this time, with a smile. “Somehow it makes me feel a bit better.”

 

“Sorry to burst your bubble but even if that’s the case, you still can’t interact with him as you.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“What’s your plan now?”

 

“Go to work. As if all is normal. I have to show him that the earlier episode didn’t bother me.”

 

“What if he asks you further about it?”

 

“He won’t.”

 

“How are you so sure?”

 

Akashi smiles. “Because I know him as well.”

 

 -

 

Coming to the clinic that morning is a bit awkward, but Akashi pushes through with his usual facade as Kuroko. Takao is already inside arranging some things in the cabinet.

 

“Good morning, Kuroko!” He greets enthusiastically as he enters. Takao doesn’t seem to have any idea of what occurred between him and Midorima earlier that morning.

 

“Good morning, Takao-kun. Midorima-kun isn’t around yet?”

 

“Oh, not yet. But he’s on the way.” Takao taps a finger against his chin. “Said he’s buying something first or whatever.”

 

“I see.” He takes his usual place behind the counter and starts arranging that day’s schedule. They are expecting over a dozen appointments today, and there would still be walk-ins. It’s looking be a busy day.

 

 _Busy is good._ It would lessen the chances that Midorima can pull him aside for another conversation. It would lessen the chances that he would be discovered.

 

It isn’t long before Midorima arrives with paper bags in tow. His eyes roam around the clinic, and they land on Akashi. He averts his gaze immediately, shifting his focus back to the already finished schedule for the day. He feels Midorima approach him.

 

“Kuroko.”

 

Akashi looks up.

 

“Good morning, Midorima-kun.”

 

“I’ve bought everyone lunch,” Midorima places a paper bag in front of him. It seems like he has something else to say with the way his forehead creases, but at the end, he just exhales. “I hope you like it.” He turns away and goes to Takao, giving him his lunch too before going inside his office.

 

Akashi opens his bag and spots a small plastic bowl on top a bento. He pulls it out, getting a sense already of what’s inside. He couldn’t be more right. He removes the cover, and inside is a tofu and wakamase miso soup. He supposes he should feel anxious about this development. It means Midorima is even more sure than ever. Instead, he smiles.

 

Midorima will know him anywhere, and that is enough for now.

 

 -

 

 

Kuroko is baffled when he hears about Akashi’s encounter with Midorima, but he listens well and carefully, fully aware of how harrowing the experience must have been for Akashi. He’s never seen Akashi so worried on recounting his experiences in a long time.

 

“So what does it mean now for you?” He asks when Akashi finishes his retelling. “Does this affect your chances in getting your last teardrop?”

 

“If I can work on this properly, I could turn this into an advantage.” Akashi has regained his calm sooner than expected, his mind already working on plans as usual. “Less than three weeks left, and only one teardrop to collect. I know that one of the teardrops came from Mori. Assuming that Midorima has been the one mostly visiting me, it’s safe to say the other teardrop came from him.”

 

“So that puts them out of the choices.”

 

“I’ll have to pay a visit to the others soon.”

 

“The others?”

 

“Kagami. Aomine. Momoi.”

 

“I don’t think Kagami-kun is one to cry. And besides, you’d be the last person he’d cry for.”

“Momoi once said that Aomine cries easily.”

 

Kuroko lets out small laugh. “That he does. So I don’t think he’ll cry pure tears for you.”

 

“Isn’t there anyone else that can cry for me?”

 

“How about me?” Kuroko looks serious with his suggestion. Kise would probably sabotage his schedule and make his death come nearer if Kuroko cries because of him.

 

“I’m not sure if the tears of the host body will work.”

 

“You should ask Ryouta about it, know all your available options.”

 

Akashi sees how Kuroko’s face changes as he mentions Kise’s name, how he looks away, absentmindedly looking for him in the small space that is his apartment. Kise is missing, as usual. He doesn’t seem to be around when Kuroko is awake.

 

“I’ll ask when I see him,” he replies.

 

“You haven’t?”

 

“Not since this morning. He doesn’t really tell me where he goes when he’s not with me.”

 

Kuroko’s shoulders droop.

 

“Say hello to him for me once you see each other again.”

 

 -

 

Kuroko has had a busy evening. Customers have come in streams. He and Hanji almost never had a break until it was ten. By then, the crowd has lessened and they finally get the chance to sit. Kuroko brings out a book from his bag and continues reading. He hasn’t done it for a long time. He has almost forgotten how it is the best way to distract his mind.

 

He’s two chapters in when the door opens and he quickly closes his book. When he raises his eyes to meet the customer, he’s welcomed with the sight of Midorima.

 

“Welcome,” Kuroko greets despite his surprise. What is Midorima doing here so late in the evening?

 

Midorima only nods, he heads towards the hot beverage station at the end of the store. Kuroko waits nervously until Midorima comes for the counter with two steaming cups on hand. He seems unsure of approaching, and Kuroko himself is unsure how to interact with him.

 

“Good evening,” Midorima puts the cups on the counter, “How was the mushroom soup I bought for lunch?”

 

“Oh. It’s good. Thank you.” It’s the safest reply Kuroko can think of. Akashi didn’t tell him anything about lunch. Kuroko scans the cups. “That’s three hundred yen.”

 

Midorima pays the exact amount. Kuroko gives him the receipt. It all feels like leading to something that makes Kuroko uneasy.

 

“Kuroko.” Midorima smiles when he takes the cups that he bought, “Can we talk for a while? Outside?”

 

There it is.

 

Kuroko looks at Hanji for permission. “Can I?”

 

“Oh sure, you go.” He practically shoos him away. “There’s no customers at the moment. It’ll be fine.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Kuroko and Midorima step out of the store. Kuroko almost wishes Akashi is around, but this could be an opportunity he can use.

 

The air blows cold outside. Winter is around the corner. Time is drawing nearer and nearer.

 

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Midorima asks, his breath forming a cloud at the space before him, “Kuroko?”

 

“Who else would I be?”

 

“It wasn’t mushroom soup, the one I bought earlier.” Midorima offers him a cup. “Have some tea?”

 

“Tofu soup.” Kuroko allows himself to laugh. He looks around him. Akashi isn’t anywhere, and it doesn’t seem that Kise would be as well. If he wants to help Akashi, having another person on board wouldn’t be too bad. It is what Akashi sorely needs. “Midorima-kun, I see that you’re already aware about Akashi-kun.”

 

“And by that reaction, I’m assuming you’re allowing him to possess you?”

 

“Yes. We had a deal.”

 

Midorima sips from his own cup. “I understand that there is something that Akashi must achieve and he doesn’t have much time left. However, he hasn’t told you everything, or he’s not allowed to.”

 

“That is true,” Kuroko nods, amazed at how much Midorima has already known. If only Akashi is allowed to disclose all the details behind his existence as a spirit, Midorima could have already come up with a solution if they worked on it together. Such is their relationship.

 

“Can I ask something? What’s in it for you? Why are you letting Seijuurou in?”

 

“Ryouta.”

 

That one name explains everything. Midorima nods in understanding.

 

“Then this should be easy. I came here to ask a favor from you, Kuroko.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Allow me to help. I want to save Seijuurou as soon as possible.”

 

For once, Kuroko feels like they can finally achieve their goal.

 

Akashi can live.

 

He can see Ryouta again.

 

“What do you have in mind?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy two years to this fic aaah An update for the anniversary. Hoping this is enough (:3


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

 

  _“I understand that there is something that Akashi must achieve and he doesn’t have much time left. However, he hasn’t told you everything, or he’s not allowed to.”_

_“That is true,” Kuroko nods, amazed at how much Midorima has already known. If only Akashi is allowed to disclose all the details behind his existence as a spirit, Midorima could have already come up with a solution if they worked on it together. Such is their relationship._

_“Can I ask something? What’s in it for you? Why are you letting Seijuurou in?”_

_“Ryouta.”_

_That one name explains everything. Midorima nods in understanding._

_“Then this should be easy. I came here to ask a favor from you, Kuroko.”_

_“What is it?”_

_“Allow me to help. I want to save Seijuurou as soon as possible.”_

_For once, Kuroko feels like they can finally achieve their goal._

_Akashi can live._

_He can see Ryouta again._

_“What do you have in mind?”_

* * *

 

 

 

The Generation of Miracles don’t get a lot of chances to gather as a team ever since their college graduation. There were reunions — yes, but outside that, everyone else is just too busy. Then Kise left the world too early, and they can never be complete again.

 

However, on this certain afternoon, the Generation of Miracles are together again in one room; those that are alive, that is dead, and that is in-between. But of course, only Kise and Akashi are aware of such fact. As far as the others are concerned, they are gathered because of Midorima and Kuroko.

 

“I really appreciate you putting time for this small gathering,” Midorima starts, “We don’t get a lot of opportunity to meet as a complete team.”

 

“It’s a bit sad it has to be like this though,” Momoi comments.

 

“Why are we here again?” Aomine asks irritably, obviously wanting to be anywhere else but the hospital. He’s wearing a white shirt over his uniform, having come directly from his work.

 

“You know how people in comatose can still hear their surroundings, right?” Kuroko speaks up, effectively quieting Aomine and getting his full attention. Aomine still has to make up with Kuroko, and the burden of apologizing weighs heavily on the former’s shoulders. “Midorima-kun and I thought we should talk to Akashi-kun as a team, remind him of the better days. It might have an effect if we do it altogether.”

 

“So we’re supposed to tell Aka-chin about our games and trips back then?” Murasakibara asks, “Anything happy? Then it’ll help?”

 

“That’s a bit far-fetched, though. Too optimistic,” Kagami says. “What counts for ‘better days’ anyway?”

 

“We wouldn’t know if we wouldn’t try, idiot,” Aomine sneers at him.

 

“Oh, now you’re interested.”

 

“Boys,” Momoi reprimands the two, “Not here, please.”

 

Kagami settles as well.

 

Midorima nods at Momoi’s direction, a simple gesture of appreciation for handling their teammates who have yet to outgrow their childish whims.

 

“Would anyone like to start?”

 

“I think I will,” Momoi volunteers, smiling warmly as she held the bedridden Akashi’s hand between her own. Akashi feels a warm sensation in his form and brings about a small sense of happiness in him. “Akashi-kun, are you glad we’re all here to visit you? I hope you are. It was quite a ruckus dragging Dai-chan and Kagami-kun, but well, they could never refuse you even if they say otherwise, do they?”

 

Momoi recounts a similar experience back in middle school. Every single one of them listens attentively, Akashi, who is watching them all from the window, all the more so. He wouldn’t have recalled the memory if Momoi has not brought it up. It is heartwarming how such small but happy thing get etched into one’s heart forever and can’t be forgotten. When he wakes, he swears to start collecting these small but happy memories for his own keeping. With his friends, and most especially with Shintarou.

 

In a matter of an hour, almost everyone has said their piece. Aomine and Kagami’s parts were as short as each other’s. Midorima has initially doubted Murasakibara’s contribution, but it turns out that he has a lot to say. 

 

“Sometimes, I still blame myself,” he had said, his voice filled with regret. They all knew what he was talking about.

 

Momoi and Kuroko has taken most of the time talking, and both of them has managed to make Kise teary-eyed.

 

“I still have feelings, you know,” Kise says defensively when Akashi catches him wiping his eyes once. Aside from him, no one else ever came close to shedding a pure teardrop.

 

“Well, it should be your turn now, Midochin,” Murasakibara craned his neck, motioning for Midorima to take the podium.

 

Midorima exchanges a look with Kuroko. This just can’t be it. Momoi got a bit emotional, sure, but they are almost at the end yet they still have not elicited any tears from their teammates. He sighs. _At lease we tried?_ he tries to comfort himself at the thought. He wonders if Akashi is around and listening to what they all had to say.

 

“Midorima-kun has been visiting here everyday,” Kuroko suddenly speaks in behalf of him, “It won’t be necessary for him to speak anymore.”

 

“What the hell?” Kagami’s brows furrow, “You made us say all those sappy things only for you to bail out on your own plan?”

 

“It just makes sense,” Momoi stands in front of Kagami, “We’re not strangers to what Midorin and Akashi-kun are-“

 

“ _Were_ ,” Midorima corrected. Momoi visibly flinches. A pang of pain crosses Akashi’s chest.

 

“Well, you should get what I mean, Kagami-kun,” she extends her hand and squeezes his left arm, “Midorin would have already said enough. And so much more.”

 

Kagami breathes out in resignation. “Fine.”

 

“We were all able to say encouraging words anyway,” Kuroko tells them, “Akashi-kun would have heard everything. We can be assured that we’ve done our part in encouraging him to fight.”

 

“That bastard better be waking up soon or the next time we visit him, I’ll be bringing a basketball here and attach a metal ring overhead.”

 

The rest of them smiles at the thought.

 

“We haven’t played basketball together in years,” Kagami noted in a nostalgic voice.

 

_We can’t play altogether anymore_ , Akashi thinks, looking outside the window. The sky is painted a calm shade of purple and orange, draping the city in a hue that is very familiar to him. It is the same hue that they used to walk under during their middle school years. He looks at his former teammates, now bickering over the fact that a basketball won’t be allowed inside the premises in the first place. Some things really do not change even as years pass by.

 

“I wish I could remember everything,” Kise tells him, a tinge of loneliness audible in his usually bright voice. He faces Akashi and reaches for the teardrop-shaped pendant resting just above his heart. “At least before my time here ends. I want to remember when I was once part of that.”

 

“You will,” his answer is determined, so sure of victory. “Trust me.”

 

The small but lively conversation that has erupted in the room is abruptly cut upon the sound of the door opening. Every head turns, and there stands Akashi Masaomi, his lips set thin and his eyes narrowing.

 

“Your presence is appreciated,” he says after a few moments of tensed silence. Even Momoi is unable to speak up in the surprise arrival of Akashi’s father. His latest decisions are no secret to them. “But I believe you are overstaying already.” He turns especially to Midorima. “I thought that after last time, you would have known better about visiting Seijuurou?”

 

“Hey old man,” it is Aomine who retaliates for the rest of them, “You’re not the boss of us, alright? We will visit Akashi whenever we want. You can’t dictate us. We’re his friends.”

 

“I wonder where were you before he decided to kill himself,” Masaomi replies icily. “The nurses has notified me of the disturbance you are all causing here. You’re helping no one.”

 

“You don’t know that,” Momoi says her part this time, “Have you even tried encouraging him yourself?”

 

“Seijuurou is beyond saving. Let him be. You will all leave now.”

 

It is an order expected to be followed in the blink of an eye. Without waiting for a reply from them, Masaomi turns and walks out of the room, leaving the door behind him open.

 

_Leave,_ the door seems to say as well.

 

“What a prick,” Kagami grumbles.

 

“Masaomi-san still hasn’t changed all these years,” Murasakibara added, “You’d think one will be more sensible as they grow older.”

 

“Akashi-kun would have heard everything that he said,” Momoi says with a sad realization that all their pep talk for Akashi could be all for naught because of his own father. “Why is he like that?”

 

“You really should deal with that trash of a father, Midorima.”

 

“Kuroko,” Midorima turns, ignoring Aomine’s statement. The sudden arrival of Masaomi has shaken him. His last encounter with him wasn’t exactly favorable. But now, with the presence of The Generation of Miracles in the room, one thing is in his mind, “Is _he_ here?”

 

Akashi and Kise’s attention is taken by how he has phrased his question.

 

Kuroko understands immediately. “He should be.”

 

Without another word, Midorima runs after Masaomi. After turning a few corners, he catches up to him waiting for the elevator.

 

“How can you be like this to Seijuurou?” Midorima almost screams a few meters away from him. “Depriving him of a parent figure, depriving him of the small happiness he could get from his friends. You have been denying him of life itself ever since!”

 

Masaomi doesn’t respond immediately, his stubbornly straight back a blur in Midorima’s warm eyes. The brief moment of silence is the eye of the storm to come.

 

“How can you be like this to your own son?”

 

“He’s not my son.”

 

He can’t be hearing this right.

 

“What…what do you mean he’s not your son?”

 

“I mean what I said. Seijuurou is not my son. He’s not of my blood.” Masaomi’s voice sounds like a machine is whirring it out in a monotone. “His mother bore him even before we were married. In fact, it was because his mother had him from a measly no-good that her parents arranged for us to be married. The family is in need of an heir, and they happen to have one ready.It was only because she pleaded that I kept that boy and raised him as my own.” He turns around and faces Midorima. “Now tell me, Midorima Shintarou, can you still call me as a bad father?”

 

It is the most that Masaomi has spoken to him, and every word is a bomb that has demolished everything he thought he knew about the Akashi family. He doesn’t quite know what to say. All these years, he had thought Akashi Masaomi was being a terrible father for nothing. He didn’t expect that his misgivings came from somewhere as controversial as this.

 

“I provided for him,” Masaomi continues, a wry smile on his face, “Gave him a life he otherwise couldn’t have had without me. Yet, he chooses to give that up. I’ll give him that.” The elevator door opens. “Let him die if he that’s what he wants.”

 

He steps inside.

 

The door closes.

 

Midorima stares at his dumbfounded expression on the metal of the elevator door. A certain image catches his eye, however, for behind his reflection is a blurry image of a man with a familiar shade of red hair.

 

_ This can't be real. _

 

“Sei…Seijuurou?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update (over a year omg). Thank you for those who are still reading and have continuously encouraged me on this. I will definitely finish this multichap, I swear. It's just that I'm into my second semester of grad school and it's been even busier ;_; i hope this update is alright...

**Author's Note:**

> Making this multichap to motivate me to write more because god knows how many fics I started writing but never finished. I swear that I will finish this one(because Emily will kill me if I don't TAT)
> 
> Updates are highly dependent on my exams OTL Thank you for those who are waiting :D


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